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Yes, folks, today is the day that 5 years ago, my relationship with the XBF was escalated from friendship to a relationship, but our "anniver-whatever" has been a bone of contention since the beginning.
Although BM is and always has been the driver behind the skids' god-awful behavior, the skids are well into adulthood, so I haven't given BM much thought over the past several years. In fact, when I learned a few years ago that she had been doing well financially, I thought, good--she should be ok in retirement. I noted her attempts at "buying" more "love" and devotion (kind of sealing the deal) from the now-grown skids, but, well, it didn't surprise me, so it was just another thing.
Let me start out by saying that I am a long time Lurker and First TIme Poster. Hard to believe, but I didnt realieze I Had tentatively signed up to be a member 13 years ago. I must have been too chickenshit to post anything even though I really needed the support. Maybe I was too still too worried about being found out or so cyncial that I thought Id still get backlash. No offense to anyone. I Have no idea what took me so long to break my silence here. There is just wayyy too much to unload here and feeling too overwhelmed and burnt out to have the strength to get into everything.
Mothers Day is one of those potential emotional bomb fields for stepmoms, especially those with the stepkids living with them full time. In the perfect world, we'd receive some flowers and a nice card with a few kind words. Too often, nothing. I'm sure none of us are greedy for gifts, we just want some acknowledgment and thanks one day of the year for performing the difficult task of raising a child who isn't ours.
Surprisingly I'm not referring to ungrateful skids ... ranted about them two Mother's Days ago when that staunch Disneyland dude had the gall to take his beastly breeders parenting day, declare it as his, took his kids shopping for the itchB, then expected me to forego my cushy day of relaxation and peace so that his unruly demanding peace destroying spawns could invade my territory on one of the few days of the year I fully expect those kids to fall back because it's not about them or their breeder (while at my home) being a priority like the other 363 days of the year.
DH called out SD14 yesterday for her out right MEAN and DISTURBING comment about my dog.
I heard my dog throw up in the other room and yelled, "Oh no, was that ____? Did she just throw up?"
SD14, who is in the den, proceeds to say to my dog "____ you should go outside in the thunderstorm and sacrafice yourself."
DH: "Well, THAT'S mean. Why would you say a thing like that???"
SD: "Geez, I was just joking." *eyeroll*
DH: "Don't roll your eyes at me."
SD: "What, she's just a dog."
I have reached the point in my life where I have very little to almost no desire to be involved in my stepchildren's lives. With the "no contact" epidemic that has been plaguing families for the last several years, I wonder if stepparents who keep getting treated like absolute trash can decide to flip-the-script and go no contact as well!
My in laws never missed one of SD's dance recitals, as long as SD, BM or DH asked them to go, they went. Recitals were always on Father's Day weekend.
SD is doing a high school dance team now and hasn't had a recital since before COVID and before DH and I had our kids. But if there is an SD event the in laws always make sure to be there.
Hi all,
I'm glad I found this group. I have found that being a stepmom has been incredibly isolating, and I feel like no truly gets it when I share with friends/family/sometimes my spouse (when it comes to his ex: F). Man, I don't even know where to start. I've started typing and then I erase everything because it's too damn much.
DH's crotch goblin extortion is almost done....16 days are left of child support since SD will graduate on May 25th. After 17 years (good lord that is a long time) of dealing with Beaver and the never ending custody battles...WE ARE DONE....WE ARE DONE....SD turned 18 today.
Holy Shiznit...I never thought this day would get here. It has been a loooonnnggg hard sloggg....but here we are.
OH HAPPY DAY....OH HAPPY DAY.......