Ha$p$p$y For Father $ Day$$$$ (to be OVER)

Greetings and good afternoon steptalkers.

Today, another day, another question-advice-ask.

I planned a nice lunch for my Dad for fathers day. I told husband about it and he stated hed like to go also and bring his SD18 Princess Powersulk Do Nada along.

This particular restaurant is made of locally quarried stone with beautiful blooming gardens, a lawn out front with a large fountain. We left on time (!) with SDPPSDN giving me attitude on the way. I kept it breezy. Met with my parents, who snagged an outside seat in the partial shade as it was a hot day with no breeze.

We ordered, the food took an hour or plus, came out cold (my salad was warm) however we tried to laugh it off. Prior, when husband was letting me know he wanted to make it a group outting, I had asked him if he could cover himself and SD18PPSDN. He had agreed.

So, at lunch, he proceeded to order a cocktail, a steak, and she had ordered a pricey entree also. All told, his portion came out to 125. Tax and tip. Ive not heard anything about reimbursement. I used the house account for it and transfered the full amount to the house account. Additionally SD18PPSDN did not thank me for the meal (dessert - choc cake - I made certain it was shared!). Note - I ordered a ceasar salad with nothing extra and drank regular ice tea.

Husband spent the whole weekend working on a bear of a car project for a friend and at one point I helped. We did not go out together and have any fun at all...so it was kinda rough going.

Would it be a good idea to ask for a chip in or should I simply write it off as the last time I do ANYTHING remotely like that in the future and just consider that this will be the absolute last time I treat SD to ANYTHING? She hasnt mentioned anything about the picture ID or passport, so Im considering just not rocking the boat, and living peacefully until he leaves this week for his fishing trip.

Im still kinda peeved that shes been living her best life and looking like a walrus while I am slogging off to work every day. Because some folks thinks she "deserves" a break, and Im wondering when the job prospects will be discussed. I took advice given and left it to husband to worry about job and driving and thus far almost 3 weeks in, NADA.

CLove's blog
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If your husband was supposed

If your husband was supposed to pay for himself and his daughter, she doesn't owe anyone but him a thank you. You should definitely follow up with him on what he owes.

Just let him know you're low on cash and need his share. He should be receptive for the reminder since he agreed to chip in. If he's nasty when you ask, you have bigger problems.

SD has had her week off - the "break" I was talking about. But you still cannot get involved if your spouse isn't going to back you up, UNLESS you don't mind him flying off the handle at you.

If you're ready to put your foot down and deal with the fallout, then go for it. But, if you're holding back because you know he's going to turn on you, you might as well throw up your hands and live with it OR be prepared for plan B and tell them both to move out.

In your shoes, I would tell him that it's BEST FOR HER to secure a job to earn as much as she can this summer. If he's willing to put up with it and will not back you up, you have some choices:

Put your foot down and tell them what you require....and face the fallout
Be willing to move out if your feelings, wishes and rules are not respected
Be willing to kick them both out if your feelings, wishes and rules are not respected

Sitting quiety and seething while no one does anything is only going to hurt you.

She didnt know about our discussion

She didnt know about our discussion, but saw me pull out my cc and examine the bill.

I took your advice and asked for a "chip in". He will chip in $100.00, so that really helps take the pressure off me.

Im not really seething - Im more working on "letting go" of things that I cannot control, and working on gratefulness...and peace of mind. Im choosing to really not focus on her and her lack of drive to do anything. Or rather her doing nothing to benefit only Toxic Trolls subsidised living.

Getting outside more, and planning my week of hikes after work while husband goes fishing.

So, if he actually delivers on the 100 he is still sticking you

So, if he actually delivers on the 100 he is still sticking you with $25?

What a prince this man is.

POSPrince. Or just Prince Of Shit. P.O.S! FF and PPSDN are no doubt a product of his rotten effluent spewing loins.

took your advice and asked

took your advice and asked for a "chip in".

send him an invoice including

taxes
inconvenience fees
tip for the server ... heck and you for having to do all this work getting him to be more considerate
power sulks portion
pain and suffering for all the turmoil he's put you through
and your hourly consulting fee for the time it took having to bring this to his attention

Lol

Yes!

Lol

Yes!

Tech support

For the parent portal ch!t I did and all the conflict if caused and my therapy sessions...

I would not have let them

I would not have let them intrude on your lunch with your parents. I would have just suggested they he take her out for father/daughter time.

But, since they went, and he agreed to pay for the two of them, you need to make sure that he does pay. Nothing wrong with you asking him for the money that he agreed to pay (especailly, $125.00).

As far as the job and the driving, I probably couldn't keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't talk to her about it but I would sure let him know that she needs to get on it.

Beach Boardwalk and Baja

Im getting geared up for the discourse after he comes back from his Baja trip. Shes at her mothers this whole week and shared shes going to the Beach Boardwalk made famouse by THAT 80s movie.

Nice deal...

I did take the advice and asked for a "chip in" and am getting $100. The total was $280 tax and tip.

Love Dad but next year - its bbq at his house.

next year

Next year, you take your dad (and mom) out alone. SD can plan to take her father somewhere or not.

$100 would not cut it for me. I'd total up the cost of his and SD's dinner. That's what he owes.

Exactly. "No. This is for my

Exactly. "No. This is for my dad and I alone."

Clove you keep over complicating things.

Wondering

I know this whole situation has been bugging you for awhile.

I think you said your DH is a different nationality? I was wondering if this is a culture issue where in his culture, your stepdaighter's mode is considered the norm?

Filipino

And SD18 PPSDN is half Filipina and half white (trsh). Toxic Troll and her sister Crazy Troll both come from two white folks. The parents of TT/CT were workers too and their pops has his own businesses and seems fairly normal in work habits. Homeowner etc.

On Husbands side, all his sisters are hard workers. Hes the youngest of 13 and he was pretty much raised by his older sisters. ALL of his sisters are hard working. I think its generational and part of what she got from Toxic Troll who is a professional victim and her as well as her sister have learned how to work every system imaginable.

The younger generation in his family are a bit spoiled, from what I have seen. Theres a comedian - Joe Koy and he cracks a lot of jokes about his Filipino family - the women leave early and the men stay in the garage and live with parents forever. Thats what happened in his family too! Thats why it was so funny.

Nope I suspect its part generational and part the parenting.

Your husband is a jerk. He

Your husband is a jerk. He had a lot of nerve asking to butt in with his snot daughter and did exactly what I expected. An intentional free ride. What would he have done if you'd played the "I left my wallet at home" card?

Please make this the absolutely lasting lastly ever facking last freaking time you do anything like this ever again. Don't let him tag along for so much as a crouton and a thimble of water. Plans with your parents? Plans for a concert? Plans for a pap smear? No, you cannot tag along Mr Freeloader. Grrrrrrr.... I want to kick him in his missing wallet.

lol. pap smear

I did the ask, and hes going to chip in with $100.

Hes not my Dad. I USED to do stuff for him for fathers day, but hes such a crap parent Im reliquishing any and all FD activity for him. My Dad DESERVES attention. He stepped up as a stepfather and adopted me and hes Dad in all senses of that word. He actually parented me and supported my mother in her parenting.

Chip in with $100? Does that

Chip in with $100? Does that mean $100 towards your Dad plus the cost of his and Powersulk's meals? That would be the decent thing for him to do, but it's caca that you had to ask. *diablo*

I think it means his and his

I think it means his and his daughter's meal together cost $125 and he only gave Clove $100, leaving her to pick up the extra $25.

Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

My sentiments exactly

You should have told the

You should have told the server to split the check with you picking up yours, and your parent's portion and telling the server to give the rest to SD since it was father's day.

Subtle does not work on that shit puddle of a gene pool CLove. So, stop being subtle and put their shit firmly in their face. In public.

That, might get a message accross.

I would have told DH nope, this is my FD celebration with my father. Your DDs should be taking him out and he should not be trying to pollute your day with your dad with his shit spawn.

Grrrrr.

These types of people are not reasonable and incapable of recognizing subtle. They understand only full pain and humiliation. So. deliver on what they recognize.

I'm sorry your FD celebration with your parents was disappointing.

You should have told the

You should have told the server to split the check with you picking up yours, and your parent's portion and telling the server to give the rest to SD since it was father's day.

Omg seriously that is what

Omg seriously that is what powersulk and some of these other selfish brats on here deserve. Dad works overtime defending his precious kids and bullying stepmom into submission for their benefit and they can't even be bothered with a card or a small gift.

Let It Be The Last Time

I agree with another poster....should have been you and your parents. Your DH should have taken his "precious" and spent the day with her.

After this incident and him not paying up until you asked (hence the $100 when he owes you $125), I would NEVER pull my wallet out again. Easy fix as Rags said...split the bill AT the restaurant. But again, I would not bring him or his daughter to anything that has to do with you treating your parents or friends. Clearly, they both are moochers. SMH

You owe that girl nothing. She's lucky I'm not in your place. Crappy attitude? I'd have turned the car around and brought her and DH home. Don't care if I was late...she would not get the chance to ruin my dad's special day.

But then he'd have to plan

But then he'd have to plan his own Father's Day because we all know Powersulk won't be arranging anything special for dear ol' daddy. And he'd have to pay for it too. Tagging along with Clove meant he didn't have to plan anything, he didn't have to face the fact that his daughter can't be bothered to plan anything AND he might weasel a free meal for the both of them out of it.

Would it be a good idea to

Would it be a good idea to ask for a chip in

You could either bend over seductively and whisper in his ear how you need some seggsy lingerie to wear for him, hold his hand and guide him into Victoria's Secret then let him use his card to buy $250+ in items. After the purchase, model it for 5 minutes, then tell you have a "headache" and conveniently fall asleep

negative reinforcement would be wearing granny panties and army fatigues to bed every night for at least a week or sending him into the basement to sleep on the cot or make him do $250+ worth of labor around the house.

Additionally SD18PPSDN did not thank me for the meal

"hey power sulk how's the meal? Is it delicious? Yes? .... ok, well you're welcome!"

Next Day of the Dads:

You "Honey sweety crapacular dad and sub par husband, I'll be gone for the day of the dads. I'm taking my parents out for Fathers day brunch"

Hubby "oh nice. I think my lazy assed, unmotivated, worthless piece of human dung daughter and I will come too"

You "you're more than welcome to come, we will ask for two checks. I'm sure Sluggo will be wanting to buy you brunch with her own $$ and I'm treating only my parents because they are my parents and that's what people do.... treat their DAD on DADs day.We will be at name of eatery here at 11am. You and the human slug can meet us there, if you aren't there at 11:01am, I will assume sluggo didn't want to treat you to brunch and we'll just start without you.."

my lazy assed, unmotivated,

my lazy assed, unmotivated, worthless piece of human dung daughter

*ROFL* *clapping* *ROFL*

If Powersulk was about

If Powersulk was about business she would have had a job/income like most humans do at her age and paid for her father like you did for yours.

Hell my then 9 year old paid with her chores, allowance, etc to take me to a hibachi meal on mothers/Father's Day...I told her to save her money for a special occasion and she was like THIS is a special occasion.....so unless powersulk is profoundly mentally challenged/unstable - if a 9 year old can do it....so can she