Sometimes, when I have a calm moment, I wonder how the skids are doing with their lives.

Maybe it's because I want to confirm what I predicted years ago, during the early years of my marriage, when I first noticed them displaying some pretty unsettling behaviors.

While browsing OSD’s social media, I saw her standing on a street corner at night wearing what I could only describe as a ‘Lady of the Evening’ outfit. I had a choice to make: should I let DH know about OSD’s new post, or should I simply ignore it?

Need your advice and perspective about this. Am I thinking about this correctly?

Background:

The skids are PASed out—OSD since she was 14, and now at 20, remains completely estranged from her father. YSD, only recently PASed out a few months ago at 17, has also severed contact with DH. Neither daughter communicates with their father, despite the years he spent time, love, and all the care he has given them.

For those unfamiliar with shunning, it’s a form of social rejection often associated with stories from the past—like Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, where communities ostracized individuals deemed ‘immoral’. Over the past several decades, shunning has evolved into a more subtle but equally damaging practice. It has become a negative art of avoidance, one that can deeply hurt and alienate its target.

In another post, MorningMia wrote: DH eventually began to see his kids for who and what they are and finally accepted that they would never have the relationships he expected. He said in a sarcastic tone (as if, "big deal"), "She (BM) WON!" lol. 

A Pyrrhic victory is one that is achieved at a great cost, resulting in significant losses for the victor and making the victory unworthy. Our not-so-beloved Crazy BM has a habit of winning Pyrrhic victories.