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I've reached the end of the road....

dragondoo's picture

Not sure how I got here..from a single, independent career girl with her own home and pretty great life-to living in a rented frankly disgustingly maintained house which we had to rent because of the rooms for the kids and the garden..My house wasn't good enough despite them coming every other weekend only..(this turned out to be an exaggeration as holidays and double weekenders have appeared at the last minute with no discussion with me..)

Anyway-...I met my partner 2 years ago-he has 3 kids aged 2 6 and 9. Since moving here and renting out my house I've been like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. As my partner has no stuff whatsoever from his marriage I have furnished the house with stuff which has now been broken or taken over by the kids..Added to that the difficulties with the eldest girl who is outstandingly cheeky to me (behind bf back so obviously it's all in my head) and the littlest who is the most spoilt manipulative whiney child ever and has her dad wrapped round her finger..everything has been hard.
I don't count myself to be a quitter as I feel I've achieved a lot in my life but ladies Im afraid I have quit. The final straw was the eldest stealing money out of my purse last week and then waving it in front of my nose telling me she "found it in her pocket" with a smirk on her face.
I have told my bf I want out and I was honest about my lack of wish to share this life forever..I hope I was kind because I do love him you see but I feel like a failure because I have let him and his kids down.
And now I feel bad. Very very bad. Is this normal? I am now wondering if this was a good decision or if it would be the lesser of two evils to put up and shut up rather than feel wracked with guilt forever.
Oh dear! I am sorry about the rambling way this has come out..but I feel better anyway!

Comments

cyberwoman's picture

Girl, you did something that most of us here wish to have done a while ago but was too scared to. Good for you. Go find yourself a new man who can enter into an equitable relationship with you.

dragondoo's picture

ah thanks girls I don't feel such a bad person now!...it is a very strange feeling...As I read on here-it isn't the kids fault, and feeling the way I do about them has shocked me a little as I've never been the sort of person who feels such strong resentment out of the blue.
I think the hardest thing for all of us is probably finding a guy who u love and obviously loves his kids to bits-but ultimately this is part of the problem..and ironically-if they were bad guys and cared nothing for their kids we wouldn't want them in the first place..Life is very confusing!

Stick's picture

Dragondoo - I very rarely tell people to leave BUT

1. You arent' married
2. You have no children together
3. I wouldn't tolerate stealing... I don't believe you should either.

I have to say, I agree with the others... if it is this bad, and you feel this bad, and you are not married, then I think you should go back to living separately at least from your BF if you can't make the full break.

Get back into your own home, and maybe date BF for a while, and see if he can get the kids under control. If not.. I believe you should move on.

dragondoo's picture

Oh I wish I found you guys earlier..life wouldve been much better! We have given required notice of 8 weeks..it is very difficult at the moment as packing up etc. But on the plus side-I do have very supportive friends..just can't wait for the "i told you so"s" from my parents..lol.
ho hum..back to packing boxes..!