severe 2nd thoughts...
Please help me...when deciding to end my relationship with ex-boyf I was always honest when I said I loved him always..but the 3 skids were the issue-and being rational either I accept him and his family as a package or not at all..
Anyway-last night we finally had a really good chat and ex-boyf was more than kind hearted and generous..but-he was so kind hearted and generous I was a whisker away from calling the whole separation off. He also said a few things that kind of threw me-firstly about how he felt about me (keep that private due to it being a bit vomitous..in a nice way) and secondly about me. I've had a history of eating problems (although no longer dangerous certainly disordered) which got a whole lot worse when we moved in together-mainly due to stress...Anyways-ex boyf made the point that he had taken and accepted and loved me-as a package..eating disorder and all..because thats what you do when you are in love with someone..and how it broke his heart to watch it in action..
Selifishly I had never thought of this-or realised that it really affected him so much..And now I feel bad and awful and wonder if he's right-and if just because his baggage is personified in 3 small people my baggage which is invisible to the eye could be a whole lot worse..
Oh god..what to do what to do...
- dragondoo's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I admire what you have done
I admire what you have done here.
Its nice that he cares so
Its nice that he cares so much for you, but I retain my opinion that children are more complicated than eating disorders.
I agree with stepkate. 3
I agree with stepkate. 3 kids will never go away or get better, only worse. An eating disorder can be helped. LOL!
But I'd also like to add the old saying: "you can never go home". I mean, yes, you can physically go home but things will never feel the same again. And, once you're there, the reasons why you left the first time will rear their ugly little heads again.
I'm not saying 'Don't do it!' But do give it some thought before you jump in again. Maybe make a list of pros and cons and see which list is longer.
An eating disorder is about
An eating disorder is about YOU...something you can get help for...something that is not out to divide you and your bf...his kids and ex are not about him...they are out to divide you. I know you love him, but if you had told me that he said "I love you, I'm stuck w/my situation, let us both work to fix the mess, etc..." I would say "date him and attempt to work through it. Fact is he "loves" you, but your disorder worsened as a result of stress caused by his bagagge and yet he is "trying to make YOU feel guilty" for your decision and blame you for your disorder vs take any responsibility for the true reason the relationship is falling apart.
I know it's hard, but I still believe you will be better off. He doesn't see a problem w/his baggage and blaming you or making you feel guilty for him accepting you is not in my book love...
Ah you are all so wise! I
Ah you are all so wise! I feel a lot better..saw my big sis today and as she said just because he's accepted you as you are, doesn't mean you should stay with him out of an owed debt..
I take your point stepoff and I am pretty scared about going back.,.and missing him..and being wet and snivelling because I'm lonely..But on the plus side-I have decided when I go home I'm going to refurnish the whole place..in flowery flowery chintzy prints..Ah he'd hate it! Heee...the pros and cons of singledom are all coming back!