Rant....advice?
Plain and simple, I can't stand my husbands ex. I finally came to terms with SKids. Okay, no, I've only come to terms with SD. I've actually become really close with her. SS on the other hand, no so much. Total mommas boy. Never wants to spend time with his dad and spoiled little brat. He get's all the attention at their home and SD lacks it, so she gets plenty with us. I actually wish SD can come live with us.
My rant is over ex. I can't stand her. I mean, I've learned to just stay out of everything because in all reality, it isn't much of my place and well, DH knows when he needs to put his foot down unless he asks me otherwise. It's kept everything actually pretty calm, at least in my world...my head 
. She just for some odd reason really gets under my skin. I have never had this feeling before. I just don't understand why there are people like her out there. Selfish, using her kids as a paycheck, type of mother if you know what I mean. A person that I wonder when karma will catch up to her? I just want to know if anyone has any advice to just get over the fact she will always be there :O ? The thought of it aggravates me, but man I could only hope for a life where I didn't have to deal with her at all. I would be happy to take both SKids and keep ex out of our lives. And we all lived happily ever after. Haha. Okay, too bad I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but I could only imagine right !?
Having Skids, well at least SD over for Thanksgiving break. Knowing SS he will cry and want to go home and DH agreed no forcing. I can only anticipate the drama we will be dealing with ex.
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I so understand. I will keep
I so understand. I will keep some the things I have fantasized about DH ex to myself, and I am generally a very laid back person. BM left the kids with DH when she wanted to see other guys, and when he filed it took her 10 days to sign over custody of the kids to him. I was then in their lives and SD9 (then 5) was a nightmare beyond freaking nightmares. SD14 (then 10) was confused, and SS16 (then 12) was basically little dad because he was forced to take care of SD9 all the time. (She has some special needs - but was allowed to run the household. It was just horrible) DH was working long hours so I stepped into help him parent and BM has always treated me like a glorified babysitter. For the first year she just kept saying she should take SD9 she never said anything about the older kids. SD9 adjusted well to me taking over running the household and we have a wonderful relationship now. SS16 decided after being bought that he would rather live with his BM and she went after custody of SS16 and SD9 and left SD14 out of the petition... It is so not fair she dumps the kids when they are too tough and then goes after the ones she wants when she has a kid that can be treated like a mini dad again. She didn't get custody of SD9 THANK GOD! but it was heartbreaking to lose relationship with SS16. She has paid child support and her half of the medical bills only when she has to look good for the court, she is in arrears and owes us a lot in medical bills still and now cause DH makes more then her, by a lot... with custody of 2 we are still going to be paying her... It actually takes a lot to get under my skin and I tried for a very very long time to try to be "friends" with her... So I understand exactly how you feel...
As for the break, DH should force his time on SS, or he will continue to act that way. And if you don't think the BM is coaching him to act that way... It was heart breaking when SD9 would come home from her visits because BM would say things to her like "your going to forget me" and "they can't love you as much as I do" and she would throw the biggest tantrum every Sunday, but it got better. With in a couple of months they stopped.
Depending on how old SD is, if DH goes for custody the court will listen to where she wants to live.
This^^^^^^^^. So true !! It
This^^^^^^^^. So true !! It is what we do. IF our BM had any redeeming qualities or was even a half-ass mom we might be able to have some kind of relationship with her. Her idea of co-parenting is to tell SO what to do and if he doesn't listen she yells cusses and acts a fool. We are DONE with that worthless POS and have nothing to do with her.
Wow is the BM here and in
Wow is the BM here and in your case related? Same shit here with the telling DH what to do, and being a creep if he doesn't listen.
He HAS to tell her where they will go and what they will do. Last week, he said the movies, she tells him what movie to take him to, and asks when he gets home the next day if he took him to the one she told him to. One day, we took him somewhere they had not yet been (a waterfall), and she was PISSED!
for the most part that is