Just an update:

I am going to an attorney with DH so he stops getting played by his greedy ex. He's been tiptoeing around her for years because he agreed in their divorce decree, not to move more than 150 miles away. He moved 300 miles away. (It's not far enough LOL)
Divorced people move all the time! He thinks she has recourse and she just doesn't. She doesn't even have the gas money to bring the skids halfway here this weekend. Guess she should not have gone on that extravagant Mexico trip with her boyfriend.

I've been reading more posts on here today and I see the stress, gray hair, anxiety pills and alcohol use in so many posts. I used to pray that BM would die...then I realized she's a free babysitter. Then I prayed for the skids and her to die. Hasn't happened. Then I started thinking about just killing myself. This step thing is not for me, not one iota of it! I hate my life with this shit in it.
Then I realized it would all go away if DH went away! That's a far better alternative than killing oneself or putting voodoo pins in the skid marks and BM.

I gave my DH notice that I am leaving to a different State about 2600 miles out of reach of the skids and BM. DH desperately wants to stay with me. I have told him that he of course should go on seeing the skids but I 'want my life back!'

I told DH that if he wants to stay together, it will have to be unconventional and I WILL NEVER BE INVOLVED WITH THE SKIDS AT ANY LEVEL. I confided in DH and my counselor that I think about suicide every time there's BM drama and even when the twits are coming for the weekend. I hate this situation and I don't trust myself to be safe for my own well-being or theirs. I have reached the very end of my rope and am in emotional breakdown and physical breakdown because of it. I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT!

Someone on this site told me the only way I would ever find relief is if I were done with it entirely. BM and the skids have to exit my life permanently.
DH can see I'm serious and said he'll do whatever he has to to keep me and keep me happy. He's going to have to travel to see the skids. The visits will be longer than just a weekend and it will actually be a shorter flight than all that mindless driving every other weekend. I mapped out an entire schedule for the year that coincides with the skids school breaks. Guess what? DH will actually see them more using the schedule I came up with. More time for the skids AND a schedule they can count on. They have never had that. You're welcome DH, BM, skids. Now pull your heads out of your asses and start living instead of making excuses for not living!

I'm doing it...just without all of you liabilities!

Thanks for the rant.