You are here

Rude or ignorant

mouse81's picture

Submitted by mouse81 on Sun, 09/30/2018 - 6:12pm

I have no kids of my own and haven't really been around many so I am wondering if what my SS8 does is normal or just rude. So he had a sleep over at a friends on Friday night, Saturday afternoon I asked him what he did, his response was "I can't remember" my OH over heard this and got it out of him what he did, OH was rather pissed at him  because he knew that SS did know what he did he just couldn't be bothered talking to me. Then yesterday morning, me and OH were sitting RIGHT next to each other, SS woke up and said "Morning Dad" completing ignoring me. Once again this annoyed OH so SS was told and sent to his room without the Ipad to think about what he'd done. I feel so awkward in these situations, because SS is getting in trouble because of me, if I wasn't there, it wouldn't be an issue, I said this to OH and he said, that's not an excuse for him being rude, and I know this, but I still feel like it's me.

We even go to the park and I teach him how to mark the football and kick the ball, I buy him his favourites at the supermarket I don't usually discipline, unless completley necessary, I just dont know what else I can do. But it's hard and it's wearing me down, usually I'm the sort of person who will do anything for anyone, but Sunday lunch I made myself lunch and told OH to organise SS, cos I just feel like, why should I if I am not just unappreciated but totally invisable?

Is plain ignoring someone rude or normal for an 8 year old? I am being over sensitive?

 

Comments

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sun, 09/30/2018 - 6:28pm

He knows what he’s doing.  Time to totally Disengage with him

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Sun, 09/30/2018 - 6:36pm

It's rude.  He doesn't have to like you, but he has to be polite and treat you with respect.  Kudos to your OH for disciplining him and imposing consequences when he does this.  Don't feel bad that he's getting in trouble - your OH is just trying to make him into a decent human being.

secret's picture

Submitted by secret on Sun, 09/30/2018 - 6:55pm

Yep, goos that your dh disciplined him.

Ss did that occasionally like 18 months ago... Dh questionned him on why he was being rude (not having said hi, and when I asked him why he wasn't saying hi, he ignored me)... Then dh dropped it.

Dh figured out real quick I was annoyed at him (dh) and what i was mad at him for... I told him that if he's ok with his child being rude to me without consequence, not much I could do other than to be upset and remove myself from ss. Dh countered by saying he can't force ss to say hi.   I said no, that's true, but you can certainly parent him and give him a consequence for being rude.

Dh never let that kind of stuff alide again without punishment.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Sun, 09/30/2018 - 8:06pm

So I see all of these replies saying it’s rude BUT my SS7 does this when he gets asked about his weekends with BM. And he does it when I ask him how his day went when I’m picking him up for school. He has no memory skills. And similar to walking into a room, he does this when he gets home from BMs too. He will pass all of us up and go plop himself in front of the tv. DH will ask him something two or three times or make him acknowledge his brother or me if I speak to him. So all that in mind I think it’s normal Skid transitioning behavior. (Also rude) 

I think you should keep in mind how long it usually takes him to “thaw out” or warm up to you guys typically. I usually don’t speak much to SS on the night he comes back and DH puts him to bed half an hour early because he is overly tired and self centered after being with Disney mom. 

 

elkclan's picture

Submitted by elkclan on Mon, 10/01/2018 - 5:10am

I have a heck of a time getting anything out of my son and always have. It's starting to get better now - he's 11. OSS - I'd get chapter and verse. YSS nah he doesn't remember or know either. So the sleepover thing was a bit silly, he shouldn't have been punished for that. TBH, why should he have to tell you what he did? I know you were asking to be polite and it was a genuine question, but just shrug it off. I hated having to answer the 'what did you do at school today?' question when I was a kid. 

The 'good morning' thing - yeah that was rude or at least forgetful. It may or may not have been deliberate. In my personal opinion I wouldn't have sent to room for that I would have just corrected the behavior verbally. Such as "It's polite to greet everyone in the room." 

Since you don't have kids... just a word to the wise. Don't be buying favourites all the time. Don't do special treats all the time. Special treats are special for a reason. No is a word kids should hear a lot. 

You also need to acknowledge your own rudeness. If you are in a family situation, it's pretty rude to make just lunch for yourself. Model the behaviour you want tos see.