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Have I done the right thing? It's over

mouse81's picture

I have just ended it with my SO. I'm not sure if anyone recals my posts, but our recent fights have involved, shouting, threatening to be kicked out of the car and house, and kicking furniture. The last straw has been today, I work with his ex and have a good relationship with her, she has done nothing wrong by me, he has told me I'm not allowed to talk to her apart from in a work relationship, or else the relationship is over, he said i obvsously have no regard for his feelings. The thing is we get on well and we message outside work, I enjoy her friendship, he wants me to stop this, but then if i do it will make working together very awkward. So tonight I am going to my parents, and I am so scared and I know this isnt skid related but I just needed some feedback.

Comments

mouse81's picture

Not exactly, if I didn't have to work closely to her it wouldn't be an issue, but I do. I don't want to be best friends with her, but if she messages me I'd like to be able to reply.

 

Powerfamily's picture

You did the right thing.

He is controlling and abusive towards you and probably his Ex.  And this is why he doesn't want you to get too friendly with his Ex because she may start telling you about him.

 

justmakingthebest's picture

^ YUP!

Maria10's picture

Yes you did the right thing. 

Threatening (that frequently) is abuse. You run from that! 

I worked with BM2 for a year or so and it would never occur to DH to tell me we couldn't talk. It was more awkward for me bc i had no interest in talking to her. We kept it professional and had minimal interaction( different departments). 

ndc's picture

You absolutely have done the right thing.  Don't let him convince you to go back, and be very careful.  Best of luck to you - stay strong.

Winterglow's picture

The only thing you did wrong was not ending it sooner.

Now you can get on with the business of getting your life back. 

(((((HUGS)))))

twoviewpoints's picture

Don't second guess yourself.

You did what you know is right for you. 

No one deserves be living in the conditions of an abusive relationship. 

The very best to you in your future. Move on, don't look back. 

 

 

tog redux's picture

Yes, good for you.  That showed courage and strength. Healthy men don't fight like that - so go find one!

hereiam's picture

You have definitely done the right thing. Whatever it took to get away from this abuser, just be thankful.

He is really one to talk about having no regard for someone's feelings, give me a break.

As abusers often do, he will probably try to get you to come back to him at some point. Please don't fall for anything he says. You were given a gift when he gave you that ultimatum, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Stay strong, stay gone.

TrueNorth77's picture

Ridiculous. You work with his ex, and have a good relationship with her. Many of us have tried for that (well, not the working together part), and have failed because the ex is a psychopath. You have achieved it, but not to the point where you are besties, and he has a problem with that? This is obviously not the worst thing he has done, but just another thing to add to the list of controlling toxic behavior. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. You did the right thing, and just imagine being in a relationship where you don't have to deal with this abuse.

Good riddance!

Merry's picture

I bet you walk on eggshells all the time to try to avoid triggering his anger. I bet he blames you when he becomes angry because you should have done something, or shouldn't have done something, or knew something, or didn't know something you should have. Am I right?

Imagine yourself away from all that, where you can breathe and be yourself. My ex had serious anger issues and my life consisted of trying to control things that I couldn't control and taking the heat for anything that went wrong, real or imagined.

Grieve the relationship you thought you had with the guy you thought he was, but it's time to move on. You deserve to have someone love you.

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Don’t look back. Work on learning your worth as in individual. You have a right to be respected as a person at ALL times and anyone who can’t do that (or won’t apologize if it happens; we are all human) doesn’t deserve you!