So we finally had ss after 3 weeks, b/c he went on vacation with his BM. it was quite the emotionally draining weekend, and I just wanted to give up a few times. I always tell myself I'm not going to care so much, but I can't stick to that for long.
It started out with us picking up ss as usual Friday night, and driving an hour to our house. Well, ss starts crying as soon as he gets in the car, that he misses "mommy", and wants to giver her another kiss & hug, and is making quite the fuss , that he doesn't really want to come and would rather stay with his mom. Her live in Boy toy actually packed up and left when they were away on vacation... Guess he woke up and smelled the crap that was her after all lol. So anyways, apparently ss said to bm before he left, " o your staying here by your self??" and Dh said that she looked like she was about to cry. It's not that she wanted ss to stay, but she has a big problem with being along, and has always gone from guy to guy. BM would not answer the door, so we had to leave and listen to ss acting up for the next 30 minutes. " I wannnnt my mommmmmmy!!!!!" This is a very new thing, and in all the years dh has taken him EOW he has never cried for mommy when he picked him up, only when we take him back home.

The rest of the night ss was a snot to us, and I could tell he would rather really be home. Dh starts trying to placate him with candy & junk, and I flip out, because at 9pm a 4 year old should be sleeping, not eating cookies and what not. I thought we were over this crap, but Dh has had a lapse in memory on how to treat a 4 year old child, so more clashing of the horns ensues for the remainder of the evening. Of course, Dh apologizes by the end of the night, and makes up with me. I think that the 3 weeks away form ss he has forgotten how we have been parenting, and how far we have come with ss. Saturday got better, but there were a few moments where we knocked heads, and the whole time i just felt on edge , like my intentions were being scrutinized. Dh doesn't meant to hurt me, but he does forget that I am part of the equation at out house, and that he cant have it both ways, either I will become one of those step moms who disappears when ss is over, or I will stay around and help him , but he cant be mad at me for telling ss he cant have snacks in bed ( for example). So, Throughout the weekend, Dh spazes out randomly, at things that we have already establishes, and of course apologizes after he realizes what an ass hes being. I was looking forward to seeing ss,and actually missed him. there was a really cute moment when ss asked me to style his hair in the morning, and then later he asked me if it still was ok or if it was messed up ss was totally back to normal with us by Saturday, and hardly acted up like usual, so that was nice for a change. Just Dh being an ass lol. So, befor we took ss home sunday, he started his usual " i want to live with youuuuuu" tantrum " i dont want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We try explaining to him again, that its no tup to us and that it's mommys decision. So we take him home, and as aoon as he sees his mom, he cowers by the corner and starts saying that he wants to live with daddy, and doesnt want to live with her any more. She must be so proud of the child she has raised. she just stood there, and didi not say anything, while her son flipped out. she turns to us and said, just go guys, I'll handle it. So we leave, cus we need to anyways, and we can hear ss a parking lot away screaming " I want daddy! I want to live with daddy!!!" having a much worse fit then when we picked him up. I have no idea what to make of the child other then he is just really confused, and maybe tired of going back and forth. Does anyone have another take on his separation anxiety? he's almost 5, shouldt children be done with that faze? And esp since he never used to do that befor...