How would you take this? (Added something's)
Add on (idk why I didn't add this first part)
We've also read materials and my husband has taken college parenting classes. We will not force her to call him something she doesn't want to call him. While she is in our house she can call us Mommy and Daddy and vice-versa. When she is old enough to know the difference then we can explain to her the difference then we can explain to her the difference between biological and step-parents, but just because she was not born from him does not make him any less of a father. We are not going to tell her that my husband is not a daddy to her. In no way do we try to replace or cut you out of the picture either. "
Let me say that FH is well aware that BMH is a father figure. FH is an active dad. Only reason why BM is ok with SD3 calling me mommy is because she wants her husband to be daddy. We do not allow SD3 to call me mommy, she knows my name.FH corrects SD3 when she calls BMH daddy "first name", but it doesn't work. If they read material and BMH supposedly took parenting classes, this would not be happening. SD3 has been calling his daddy since she was able to talk. I say it should be something handled now before it becomes a problem for the child to deal with.
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Your H needs to tell BM that
Your H needs to tell BM that he is not okay with SD calling you mommy or BMs H daddy. They can be your first names or a nick name but mom and dad should be reserved for the bio parents.
The exception is if all parties are agreeable to the arrangement.
She doesn't call me mommy.
She doesn't call me mommy. Never has. I was just saying. BM is "ok" with it bexcuse that'll make it ok for BMH to be called daddy.
Mediation is a good
Mediation is a good suggestion.
My partner and the BM have it
My partner and the BM have it written into their CO that the names "mummy and daddy are reserved solely for the parents of SD" I think that is very important, particularly with such young children.
My SD is stb4 and yes on occassion she calls me mum by mistake, but thats what it is, a mistake. No one is encouraging her to call me mum, I am not her mother and I do believe both parents have a duty to their child/ren that they know their family.
Only reason BM wants to have the child calling her new husband daddy is to one spite her ex and two so she can pretend to play happy families because she doesnt want outsiders to see her as a "failure" when the child is calling him by another name.
3 is far too young, when that child is 7 or 8 and broaches the subject because thats what THEY want to call people then thats a different matter.
If your partner doesnt like this then he should get it added into the court order
I believe that it may be
I believe that it may be insecurity issues with BM and BMH. But I will suggest adding it to their court papers. Thank you.
SD3 has been calling BMH
SD3 has been calling BMH daddy since she was a year and a half. BM cannot tell FHS that SD3 came up with that on her own. It's very simple and thank you for your suggestion on how to explain to a child who's whos. We know that you teach a child things, but teach them on the level they would understand. BM thinks she won't understand "biological mom and dad". Of course she's not! Explain it in words she would know. Use words in her level. I feel that for BM and BMH to immediately dismiss this concern FHS has shows that they don't respect him as the father. Instead of coming to a common ground, they flat out said no.