I was thinking today about why I dislike the skids and I know I have read this exact revelation before, but it never clicked till today. It has nothing to do with them or how they will behave towards me. I can only expect fdh to stand up for me and the respect I deserve from them. I cant expect them to respect me and consider it important/necessary if fdh doesnt feel the same way about the respect. I feel so much anxiety about any contact with them (skids) bc I know i could be disrespected (most likely) and fdh wont do anything about it.

well sd called again, asked for df by name, sounded upset, i said he is at work. she says thanks and hangs up. i call her back, get voice mail. if you need df i can let him know (basically go get him since he is working in a weird service area) and if its not important to call his cell. when df got home i told him what happened. he says she never called or texted. so he texts her to ask what she called for...never got an answer. i explained why her calling me (at home) to ask for him when she could call his cell if she needs him bothers me. especially since shes rude to me on the phone.

We had dinner with the one skid I can stand tonight. It went very well and we all talked and got along great. After dinner I pointed out how different this dinner was compared to the past dinner. The last time we did dinner with a skid I was excluded from convo, no eye contact was made, etc...he finally saw my point! At the time all that occurred he thought I was over reacting. He is slowly learning and he said he would stop that from happening again. Time will only tell.

I just got done having a great convo with df, i explained that I felt paranoid about losing us bc of the skids and their behavior at times. He actually understood. He knows that my past relationships affect how I feel about this one. Its the first healthy relationship ive had probably ever and am afraid I will lose it some how.