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dodgegal05's Blog

double standard

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I was sitting here letting my mind wander. A flash back came to mind: at some event skids also attended they were being rude as usual. SO said nothing to them Ofcourse, well while they were leaving and gave everyone hugs (except me) I muttered some thing to the effect of "thanks for being assholes as usual". SO heard me and told me I was being rude and it was not called for. WTF!!!
Not that this is a hot issue anymore, I just remembered this and it kind of pissed me off. I usually hold my tongue around them but after an extended period of time I was beginning to lose paitence.

second chance? I think not

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One of my friends and I were having lunch today and the topic of my weekends plans came up. I mentioned we went to the movies, ran into two of the skids, typical treatment of me by them, life went on. She says "well maybe they treat you like that bc you wont give them a second chance?" Mind you she's never had stepkids, but she knows what they've done and how it was in the past with them. I calmy replied "They never even gave me a first so I am not giving them a second." She started saying something and I changed the subject. If I wanted to talk with Dr. Phil I'd go on tv.

Update to "mini wife syndrome in the family"

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If you dont know the story its one of my blogs, but I thought I'd update the situateion;
Zoe got kicked out of school for various issues and refused to go to the other school she could go to bc of unknown reasons. She instead decided to move back to where her bm is now. She already left there once saying how much she hated it. Anyway, it cost my cousin (with no help from the bm) over $700 to get here to her bm. She is gone now and my cousin will not pay to get her back up here (or so he says). Im glad she is gone personally and im sure my cousins gf is doing the happy dance.

mini wife syndrome in my family

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My cousin is a father figure to a 15 yr old girl (i'll call her Zoe) and recently her mother moved out of state. Zoe decided to stay and live with him. She was 6 when my cousin came in Zoe's life so basically thats her "dad" to her. Well my cousin is now dating a wonderful gal and she moved in recently. It makes me sick to see the Zoe's behavior. She pets my cousin (touches arm and thighs), kisses him on the lips (just a peck, nothing more), sits on his lap... basically mini spouse syndrome. He wont see it, even after a counselor and his mother told him about how inappropiate it is.

timeline

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I have been thinking about writing this for a week now, the inner dialogue is always the same. Emotionally I am getting closer to my logic feelings. I am tired of being hated by skids bc fdh doesnt care to form any relationship with them. Tired of being the scape goat for all the issues. And when I point out the truth, I am just being a female dog and he doesnt want to talk about it. He doesnt call/text/go see them bc he doesnt want to, he says "they have their own lives". When asked if he wants to see them or why he didnt, I am to bame.

just need to "say"this out loud

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I know I shouldn't care, but Fdh just told me one of skids friends texted him asking if we were doing alright. He said yes and why she asked. She said, bc u are awesome.and deserve someone as awesome. She said she has heard about me, but when asked "all good?" (more of a joke) she says, "oh, lots of things." I know I should not care but now it seems skids are using friends to try to make problems.

communicating

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We did talk about the issues we have, no emotions, just the facts. we were both in agreed that we are not communicating effectivly and need to work on that. He is not happy with who he is seperate from me bc he cant express himself or his feelings very well and I've tried to help him to communicate. He really needs counseling, but he wont take the time. I have been in counseling before so I know it'd help if he would be open to help.

dh stood up for me finally

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And it didnt go how he thought is would. Basically he brought up that the skids need to respect me and they responded with , "well if you want a relationship with me/us you'll have to try." so they basically said they are done bc they would have to respect me. It actually suprised him. I kind of feel bad, but I guessed it'd go this way for awhile now.

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