birthday blues
My birthday was on saturday. It was the worst birthday I have ever had, not because anything bad happened, but b/c nothing happened. It would have been a fine day had it not been my bday. My DH had to remind the skids to say happy birthday to me. They didn't even make me a card or anything. I have lived with them for 2 years. My DH had been sick with the flu for the three days prior which he says interfered with all of his surprise plans for me. So he took me out to a store to buy a pair of shoes I had wanted and we went to breakfast. He did try but he had been so sick before. Then I went to visit my dad that night, he couldn't have been less enthused it was my birthday. I had planned a party for the night before with a bunch of friends and it got cancelled due to the snow storm that socked the northeast.
I feel totally unimportant to everyone.
and when it is someone else's birthday I plan weeks ahead and make damn sure that from the moment they wake up till they go to bed that night, that they feel special and loved. Why does no one care to make me feel special for a day?
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Comments
First off
Happy belated birthday!
I'm very sorry that your birthday was awful. It's a shame that the skids had to be reminded, especially since they've known you for a couple years... but at least DH tried to make it special for you. Maybe you should call your friends and ask to go out even though your birthday is already passed? Better late than never, right?
Again, happy belated birthday, and I do hope that next year will be better for you!
yeah, last year for
yeah, last year for christmas the kids gave their dad a present and nothing for me, in front of me.. not even a card.
What is "PAS"?
My husband has this fantasy that the kids really do care on some level. I say they care when it benefits them. The BM has made damn sure that they hate me.
She even texted my DH over the weekend to tell him how distressed the kids were that they didn't have anything for him for christmas and that it is not her responsibility to take them out for a present for him anymore and that his new wife (me) didn't help them.
His kids are old enough to ask if they want my help. they didn't. they didn't b/c they don't care about either of us and i sure as hell am not going to go out of my way to have them get him presents so that he can keep thinking they are loving great kids when really it would have been all me.
TTFP - I know how you
TTFP - I know how you feel,my birthday is also in Nov and 2 years ago my DH bought me a digi camera and had his oldest daughter give it to me in the same bag in which it was purchased with the receipt in the bag - not wrapped, no card nothing!!
I was going to be going back east to visit my family for a week at that time and wasn't going to actually get to spend my birthday with him, this is why I figured he would try to make it somewhat special. I was devastated by their indifference towards my birthday. For their birthdays I had always planned special parties and dinners and gone above and beyond and then my day comes along and all I got was an unwrapped gift thrown in my face.
Let me tell you one thing - after that episode my DH has never made that same mistake again - he redeems himselfs on Christmas and on all special days - however I do not get anything from his kids except a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I also do not take it upon myself to take them shopping for my DH, they are old enough to come and ask me if they need help getting him something.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
birthday blues
My birthday was in Nov. and although my sons made it very nice, my FSkids didnt even acknowledge it- and I have been with my FH for almost 6yrs, oh and it gets better (insert sarcasm) FH got me one little thing- a CD of Snow Patrol ( i love them but have a siruis and they are played all the time) I was so hurt.
side story, and NOT to hijack, but here goes LOL
FH went to Target to get his little princess a CD (a week before my birthday) OH ...yeah they were texting each other DURING school hours, I am pretty sure he was in the CD aisle for his "hunnie" and figured why not just kill two birds..
I could care less about the stepkids non wishes, i have been able to disengage enough to not let it get to me anymore.
but you can bet your sweet tushie they will NOT be getting a damn thing from me.
Happy Birthday!!!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
I know how you feel - been there
My birthday was Saturday too - Happy Birthday. My H and I have been togehter (as a couple) for five years and NEVER have skids said Happy Bday - made a card or anything! They would NEVER acknowledge my Bday if H didn't make them - he used to get a card and make them sign it. My BS will make me a card, get me a present - the whole nine yards - why - because he loves and SD only loves herself and SS doesn't pay attention to anything going on. I told H to stop forcing them to say H Bday and stop making them sign a card - it is an insult to me to have to force someone to tell me H Bday. It always happens on my Bday we have skids (EOW c)and I know SD knows it's my Bday because she goes out of her way to cause problems. Last year was the straw that broke the camels back - SD caused so much turmoil that H forgot my BDay completely! She did the same thing this year - and it was abvious he did not remember (if you read my blog you will see the night before my Bday he decided her week was gonna be all about her and during that week he and skids are living at MIL's). I asked him if I would see him the next day (my Bday) and he said no why would you. So I told him 'I didn't want to go thru the same hurt I went thru last year and since being equal is so important to you tomorrow is my Bday - I know you already forget since you plan on spending it at MILs.' That was the end of that convo. He calls that night and said he would be home after he dropped the skids off. Needless to say I had a great Bday - the best ever. I am thru buying for ungrateful, hateful SD - I have provided Bdays, school clothes, supplies, christmas, food, shelter anything she needs and most of her wants and I can't even get a Happy Birthday - get this she has already 'put her order' in for what she wants from me for christmas - will she is gonna be disappointed because I am thru. SD packed her belongings because she was evesdropping when H and I where talking at 3am about them living with MIL. H brought them home last night and SD was ready to go - H told her "Raz and I are not splitting up and you need to get over it" I overheard this conversation. Anyway where I am going is your H sounds thoughtful, don't let ungrateful skids make you feel unimportant - go out with your friends, even if it is a week later and stop doing for these skids and if they ask why, tell them the truth - I do for you but you could care less about me - I think these kids need to be taught how to appreciate us - and if the Hs aren't gonna teach them who is - if they don't and won't appreciate then don't do for them, easy lesson.
Belated
Happy belated birthday to you. I'm so sorry it was not a very good one. I am glad your H made some effort though, even if it did not work out the way that it should have. I agree with what others have said, try to rally the troops for a late celebration, better late than never and all!
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein