Girls it is tough!!!! I do feel that my DH is worth all of the hell I go through. We fought for 3 years in court trying to get custody and in Jan. we got placement and things are way better, because BM only sees SS wed. and EOW, I love it, but sometimes I think I miss the drama because that is what I am used to. But I will work on getting used to a calm life. I know that when I go to kindergarten orientation she will freak or I think she will but she has been working out and going out, I think she likes this whole not even part time Mom thing. But My advice would to be make time for you and your DH, do the kids ever go away? If so go out with DH and remember why you are married, if you have any kids of your own get a sitter. It is very important for you and DH to stay strong and in love, the kids will not be there forever, just it will feel like it, but when they are moved out then they should not effect you as much. Brad Pasly sings a song that says when he is 90 he wants to sit in rocking chairs with his wife of now, and I keep reminding myself that this man I married is everything I ever wanted, and it will work, and when the kids get older one can only hope the appreciate the crap we went through!!! Good Luck, we are all here for you!!!

because it can get a lot worse - I know from first hand knowledge. If your DH does not put down his foot and force the skids to respect you now it will get worse!!! If he is not willing to do that - you may need to do some deep soul searching - hind sight is 20/20 and if I had known the road I would have to travel I would not have married my DH - and I promise you he is the love of my life. SD would have been "out of the house" before I would have made a life time commitment

was I was in love. Skids weren't around bc we were living in a different state when we met.

I thought, "O.K. I deeply love this man, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has kids and wants to be closer to them and I can respect that (why not, I like kids, I even want my own, plus, I lived with my brother and his 2 kids for years and practically lived with my bestfriend and her son as well.) We will have them EOW so that's good. It's a really good thing he wants to be there for his children." "Besides, if I loved him as much as I did, why wouldn't I want to go with him? What kind of woman would that make me????" Right?????? ???????????WTF???????????

Then, BAM!!! It all came crashing down when we got here. We moved to a tiny sh*t hole, barely big enough for BF & myself. BF was supposed to have a great job that fell through. Intially upon agreeing to move BF told me that since he needed a two bedroom place that he would pay 2/3 of the rent and i could pay 1/3. Well since his job fell through he could barely pay CS, rent, bills, car payment, food, or anything at all and it's been that way for almost a year now and I'm paying for more than 1/2 for the bills, rent, and food for our home.

We had skids the first weekend we got here, then when BM called about the second weekend, BF told her he just had them, thinking it was EOW. She informs him the revised Divorce papers he signed said EW (sure enough they did). When I asked BF about it at first he said he did think it was EOW, then later when the divorce papers issue came up he said "Well I WANTED them EW." ???

When I married my DH, I knew there would be some difficulty with BM and the kids. I just didn't know HOW difficult it would get.

Like the rest of you, I married DH in great part because of how much he loves his kids. I would never date or marry a man that didn't take care of his kids. However, my husband was called a "deadbeat" by a lot of people who didn't even know him- they just knew BM, and BM plays the victim to anyone who will listen. To be called a deadbeat hurt my DH to the core. I was devastated for him, and it was difficult for both of us. I didn't know a person could be so mean and vindictive until I came into this situation and saw DH dealing with BM. Even more importantly, I was stunned at how a parent (BM) could use her INNOCENT CHILDREN as pawns to get back at DH. How could any parent put their own anger above their children's welfare? I didn't know that children could be so messed up (and it wasn't even their fault). It was so painful to see my DH devastated about the s**t BM put the kids through.

Now that the kids are older, have been through tons of counseling and live here, they see that what their mom said was all lies. My oldest SD and I were talking about it the other day. We were talking about our experiences as SDs. I think that the fact that my parents are divorced and I have a stepmom helps me to relate to them in a way that my DH can't. She said that even though she knew they'd have some adjustments to make now that I was married to their Dad, she didn't think it would be so tough. I just reassured her it wasn't her fault and that she is a very special person. So I don't think any of us know what we're really getting into until we've been doing it for awhile.

I am sorry to hear that things are so terrible for you.You know 1 thing I have learned is BM and your DH co-parenting is a good thing.Trust me having to do everything and have the BM take the credit is the pitts!!(my life) There is a problem in your own home though. Your DH needs to realize that you are part of this family and that you should be included on the descisions about this child.DH is not respecting you by not including you.All children should have responsiblities in the home no matter the age there is always some way they can help.You are not the maid or the nanny.You both made a commitment to each other and that should be honored.You should be viewed by the skid as a team.You both should equally be respected.Have you ever told him how you felt? He may not even know.Men can be oblivious!! Communication is paramount and it must be there for a marriage to survive. If he dosent respect how you are feeling and make a change to take your feelings into account; hunny there are better men that will.Dont ever feel trapped. You need to be number 1 in your book I truly hope that you and your DH can talk and work this out if not hun I am sure that you will find someone who deserves you.Best of luck and keep your head up