You are here

question of the day....

tryingtofindpeace's picture

Submitted by tryingtofindpeace on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 8:08am

How many of you would still marry your DH's if you could go back and do it over again, knowing what you know now?

Comments

FallingfromGrace's picture

Submitted by FallingfromGrace on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 8:19am

Nope.

"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

petitesphinx's picture

Submitted by petitesphinx on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 8:44am

If I saw him, I would RUN...RUN...FAR AWAY...

RUN! Free myself!! RUN!!

And I know hubby would run from his ex and not marry her, too.

**Wait, you mean current husband, not EX?** I'm learning these shortented words and meanings...

Hmmm...I would still marry him, BUT I'd go back and hire a much BETTER attorney to SHUT HER DOWN!!

It's God's plan for us to be where we are, but sometimes, I sure feel like He's put me in "this school" to teach me a valuable lesson....but the bell rang and I'm sitting outside waiting for Him to pick me up!

toomuchstresshere's picture

Submitted by toomuchstresshere on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 8:52am

My initial instinct was to run run run run as fast as I could because he had at the time a 4 year old boy and a 2 month old girl (both from different mothers). I remember even trying to get him to reconcile with his 2 month old daughters mother. Now, ss is 7 and sd is 3. Still I wish I would have followed my gut on it. I love my DH and would have loved to date him ONLY. Never even meet the kids type date him. It probably would have been better that way on all of us. I know it would have saved my sanity!

ferretmom's picture

Submitted by ferretmom on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 8:56am

Honestly if I knew then what I know now I would have moved and not left a forwarding address. }:)

Catlover's picture

Submitted by Catlover on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:01am

I would've gotten an airtight prenup!

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

AlysStepMum's picture

Submitted by AlysStepMum (not verified) on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:03am

Thats a tough one, because I LOVE my FH to death, but I have a hard time tolerating his brat...So I'd say yes. I'd do it all again. BUT! I would've developed a time machine by now and went back and made sure there was no conception of Miss Priss...Bad to say I know...:-X

hopeful12's picture

Submitted by hopeful12 on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:17am

I love my H very much and would do anything for him (since I do everything for him now) but if I knew my life would be this bad I would have moved far far way and never even thought about that moo cow or the SD "princess" again! That makes me a bad person I am sure but hell with it

"Why doesn't the BM get it, if they knew how to keep their men happy. I would never be the evil stepmother"

tryingtofindpeace's picture

Submitted by tryingtofindpeace on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:22am

I don't think that makes us bad people. Why is it a bad thing to want to take care of yourself and not put yourself in a situation that is unhealthy/toxic?
I am learning it is ok to be "selfish" in the sense that it is ok to put my needs first.
I love my husband. So so so so much.
But if I could go back I would NOT have married into this.
I hate being a step-mom. I hate that I hate it. I hate being involved on any level with the wrath of BM. I hate that I am so hated by her and the skids. I hate all of it.
I love DH and he is a good man, but this situation has drained me of everything I am and has left me with nothing left to give.
So what do you do then? Stay? Leave? I am on the fence and the posts are digging into me.

FaithL's picture

Submitted by FaithL on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:49am

I have finally accepted that I will never be viewed as part of his family. I am an outsider in my own home - going on seven years. I have cried, talked, written letters, seen a marriage counselor together, and nothing has really changed. It seems to get better for a week or two - until something comes up with adult SDs and it is always the same old thing.

littlegrlzx4's picture

Submitted by littlegrlzx4 on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:56am

Our whirlwind romance covered up so many things I didn't see until I was living in my new reality, married and a step mom. Its sad to say that life was 1000% easier as a single mom to a 1 and 2 year old.

But to your question, I don't know what I'm going to do yet, or when I'm going to do it. The youngest SD is 8 so we have a long time to go yet and I don't think I'll make it. Our relationship needs work but DH won't admit to any problems or seek help. I'm still hoping for a miracle, I guess, while I plan my inevitable exit strategy.

FaithL's picture

Submitted by FaithL on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:03am

Being a single mom was MUCH easier. It was lonely and that was the biggest reason that I married, but lonely is much better than this.
I don't see myself staying long term - hopefully until I can get my son in college - he is 14 now - spare him another divorce. I've given up on the miracle, finally.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 11:22am

again in a heart beat. I love my DH and my stepkids! Other than the occasional BM bull life is great on my homefront!

Sasha's picture

Submitted by Sasha on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 12:24pm

Simple answer:

Nope. Never. No way Jose.

And my answer has nothing to do with the BM or SKs.

kimber4155's picture

Submitted by kimber4155 on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:05pm

Hello, I am male SP and I have to tell you I would run and acted if I had never met her. I have no kids of my own. Does the fact I said feel that way make me a bad person.

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 3:48pm

I guess I'm little more fortunate in that the SKIDS don't live with us. But DH is my soul mate. We crossed paths years ago wish we could have gotten together a long time ago....