So I know I said yesterday was all about me, and today would be as well...and all but about 1.5hr last night wasn't about me but we were at a friends house for dinner so that didn't bother me, and this morning DH got up went dove hunting and still hasn't returned only called to see if I needed anything because I made it clear I didn't care about plans I was having a pajama day...

Anyways back to last night - MIL and I were sitting and talking to SS5 and BIL9 joking around because SS said he had a girl in his class that liked him, and he though she was pretty - it all came up because BIL9 had said something to MIL asking what to do because some girl was hugging up on him at lunch he thought it was just gross and weird - mind you he is a SUPER shy kid and so interacting period is not his strong point. Anyways so it was all fun until SS get serious and goes "My momma told me that D (what we knew as her boyfriend) hates her" in which completely changed the tone and both MIL and myself simply asked if D had been around lately and he said not since last weekend sometime maybe Friday this was all we asked and then told SS that his momma probably didn't mean it like that and that he shouldn't have to hear or see his mom get emotional and talk like that. We told him that sometimes people stop being friends and it was okay - it was kind of unexpected so looking back I'm not sure if I handled it correctly saying his momma shouldn't say stuff like that to him but I meant it with my heart and reassured him that his mom was probably just upset they couldn't be friends.

So, fast forward MIL and I are sitting outside talking and started thinking about how nice BM has been the past few months with her dating. She has been very nice to DH and even stopped a lot of the PAS telling SS he was lucky he had 4 loving people in his life etc. I mean I'm not going to say it hasn't been rough but it had definitely been a lot smoother when she was dating, and she didn't even hesitate about me wanting to go up to the school, or me making notecards for sightwords she told DH to tell me thank you - even though she isn't using them it's not like her to be grateful for anything, was appreciative when DH said we would give her the additional picture form me requested (school pictures are next week) as we truly try out best to play nice not only infront of the school but to her - there is no reason for her to need to go up the school if she's not picking SS up, and we can give her the form when we return SS to her 2 days before the picture day. Anyways my point is it has all been calm and nice, no need for tension or the extra custody alteration that they have because they wanted to change the swap off days from what was in the decree only by one day and DHs lawyer drew up a form for them to both sign each time agreeing so there was no issue - when even if she was a bitch about we lost one day total with SS it's just DH returns him Tuesday night instead of getting me to drop SS off at 7 am Wed morning when he leaves, and so they moved the swap day to Wed instead of Thursday to make up for the time but it is so minor no one wants to take it the courts.

I later confirmed they split through Facebook as BM post a lot and makes changes anytime anything happens that indeed they were split up.

My question is I know I probably didn't approach the issue correctly but there is nothing I can do to take it back but show SS a stable relationship between DH and I which he has always known, and seeing as after the split DH brought one woman around before me for one date as she had a daughter so they did it as a "play date" for the kids, and then me so I know he knows stability at our house and how BM makes so many changes and is emotional (another thing SS said is she is crying again like she did when DH and her split up) with yes the same house but BM going from extreme attention and caring to not really caring, and from asking him how excited he is to get to come here and ride his ATV, to crying because DH got irritated with her and telling SS that daddy is mean and he needs to be good over here because she is scared DH will yell at him like he yells at her (mind you he hasn't yelled at her in over a year - his main thing now is sending question marks in text when he ask about something especially school, or how SS is feeling as he had been getting colds a lot and she wasn't responding).

Any ideas to help us prepare for the storm and PAS coming again. Like I said we try to do our best to be nice to BM, and even get SS excited about her house and their adventures like today she requested him to go to a birthday we told SS it would be fun but it was his choice whether he wanted to stay and ride his ATV or go - we aren't going to force him to go to anything that isn't court ordered but we want him to know we like him having fun with BM as well. I just I wonder how long the nice-ness will be and how bad it is going to be.

How should I handle it if SS brings up D hating BM again as like I said I question how I handled it last night but I was just so caught off-guard and so was MIL. How is the best to deal with his changes in behavior and affects of PAS as we know it is probably coming. How do we deal with him talking about how he misses D - which something he said to DH last night I didn't know about and caught DH offguard until I told him what all was said in the kitchen - I mean this is the first man he has seen around his momma and in a flash of 2.5months his mom is crying and saying D hates her. We have not had to deal with before except for when DH and I first started dating as she hadn't dated until this summer when she was with D or at least didn't make a big deal out of it, or bring anyone around SS.