O/T Interview
So, a few days ago I posted a post about feeling depressed:
http://www.steptalk.org/node/181603
Things have gotten a little better. DH was able to get his income tax paying off his truck which has him in a better mood. He has seemed to be a little more sweet but I think still does not realize the amount of depression I am experiencing.
Today I was finally able to file for unemployment so I should get a tiny paycheck for the first time in a month which relieves me though it is pretty much gone due to car registration, car payment, etc which DH does not help me with.
My interview seemed to go well today, he asked me to do an additional assessment, and will be done with interviews on Wednesday. I am hoping to hear something by the end of the week, and have still applied for several other positions.
The depression still seems to come and go as it truly is an exhausting position. I am feeling a bit more confident but still at this point just want to break down and cry for random reasons. I am hoping when DH comes home he can help calm emotions but honestly he isn't good with emotions from anyone including me so I am unsure of if I will actually be better off or just have a warm body next to me, and SS running amok making it about him, leaving me to feel more alone as they will be here. Yes, I am have a lot of time to think about which is better lol.
I just really appreciate all the support I am getting here.
Don't be sad. One thing about
Don't be sad. One thing about DH's job is he works offshore, and he is one of three employees on his barge so has been focused on work and keeping everything safe so that we both don't end up unemployed. He has told me that everything was going to okay and was more supportive right after it happened...but with working 18 hours days and literally the most we talk in a day being 8 minutes or so I think he doesn't know how to seem more supportive. He did pick up more of the bills which will help.
As for car registration and such I'm sure if he would help, but honestly I try to be more independent. Unemployment will come in again before my car payment is due so I am doing half now and half next check, though I am hoping that this job will come through. As for registration I am debating holding off on that as well since I have until the end of April.
I am sure if I asked or said I needed help he would. Infact today after he paid off the truck he asked if I needed money but I couldn't say yes knowing unemployment should be deposited tomorrow. With him home he can get a decent amount of the food, and has always been good about filling up my car when he uses it which is actually a lot as he drives a diesel truck which is more fun to burn out in and be crazy therefore using more fuel.
I am pretty sad but again I don't think he knows how to handle it...and the first night it is just us, and then after that shift will turn to SS which sucks but I am hoping DH will realize once he sees the grey hairs (even though he's 6 years older and I have more than he does typically), and body marks resulted from stress (bruises, I get hives and random bruises when stressed) he won't let SS run the complete show.
Edit- The guy did send me an assessment to do after the interview which I am hoping shows he is more interested in me, and I snail-mailed a thank you card which should get there Wednesday when he finishes up the other interviews hopefully putting me at the forefront of his decision.
Nevermind you can be sad. I
Nevermind you can be sad. I talked to DH this morning and had gotten a check to help finish paying my registration and made a comment and all he could say was "It sure would be nice if they would pay you so that things are easier on us" not 2 minutes later he gloated that his truck was paid off mind you that is around $450 a month he is saving that I doubt I will see.
A few seconds later he told me he got his flight info to come home and would try to get a earlier flight but of course it didn't matter as I didn't have to get up for anything the next morning. It felt like a very cold comment.
In the past 3 weeks I have applied for over 60 jobs and got one interview. Again still hoping that goes well and I can be employed again but it just felt a cold back handed comment to talk about how he is saving money but it would be nice for me to be able to help again, mind you even out of unemployment today 75% of it is gone between 1/2 my car note, registration, and putting what I could towards bills because he was stressing as he had not got his taxes yet and asked if I could help - now he's riding high and I'm depressed.