Wow. I think I was right that I would somewhat feel more stress with DH home as it has been focused on SS - and we only a day and a half into it.

First, I didn't get the job which threw me into a mini depression. However, I had another interview yesterday and already have 3 set up for next week. Though, it was really sad to see that even with DH home I got less of a response before my interview than I did when he was gone. When he was gone that morning I got a text right as my interview but he had been busy so understandable. However, yesterday mind you this is after I found out BM had sent DH several "family" pictures and such of when SS was little while he was gone, since she was going through them with SS since she finally had room to keep them in the new house as she said. This sends me into a whole bout of irritation I know it shouldn't but it does....and then yesterday she text DH that she was thinking about pulling SS out earlier so *they* could see DH, and didn't respond and so then she said SS wanted DH to pick him up earlier which of course DH did, even though he complains about SS not going to school or getting picked up earlier with BM. When I left for interview they were at the house playing the PS3 and I got no response when I left and about 10 minutes after my interview was over and I was writing my thank you notes DH text me good luck. Apparently, looking at the time or telling me anything before I left was unimportant as SS was around.

SS was ungodly distant last night...like to the point DH noticed and was asking if something was wrong. Normally SS will only exhibit around me, and so it was weird for him to act like that even with getting DH's undivided attention. We got to hear all about BM's new house and how great it is which just made my shoulder swell even more due to irritation as it seems like she tried to play happy family while he was gone, and then the first night SS is back I am ignored to hear about her house which is a 180 from how he was last time. Mind you she has even already implanted herself into their day today as I stayed home so DH could spend time with his brother from out of town for a few hours, but mind you SS showed no signs of sickness or allergies, and she could have dropped the medicine off at the school as her eldest son goes to school next door. BM called DH saying he needed to get SS's medicine and apparently wanted to see him (it's been like 24hrs) and of course be able to make small talk with DH while I wasn't there - I know DH tried to get away quickly but I know that with what seems to have been going on the past day SS probably ate it up having his parents together.

DH and I got the first night home together which was a matter of a few hours as his plane always gets in late, a few minutes yesterday and maybe a couple today as he needed to mow and then his brother called, and it was time to pick up SS. I am less worried about money but feel more stressed as DH still feels somewhat detached and I can't even cry because that is something he can't handle.

I legit can't feel my shoulder, I'm having a stress headache thinking about what SS will say to pin DH against me at this point. I knew I would feel more stressed and I hate it.

Oh goody! As I was typing this SS finally said words to me but it was that he lost his first tooth...and wanted me to be excited for him - I attempted to muster up a little bit of excitement but I don't think it was enough as I got the "Your Mean" look. I know DH is excited to finally be home for a milestone but then again it makes me sick with all the other BM stuff as this is something DH probably called her about and sent her a pic enabling the communication more.

Why aren't we allowed to just have time with our DH and have them focus on and make us feel better? We have SS until probably Wednesday and then he will be working on MIL's house a lot of the time. I just want a little bit of special time...and to choke BM for putting herself so in the middle and I'm sure manipulating to a good extent. DH tries to stay away from her and have boundaries but if she's gotten in SS's head I doubt he can have them that much as last time he was home he ended up going into BM's house twice for only a matter of minutes but because BM had told SS he should show DH his room, and then the other though she pulled him out of school earlier still keeping him past her time on his birthday.

I just feel like I am more down, and a little more lonely even with DH home as with him gone I at least knew at certain times I would get a phone call.

I feel so bad wishing SS would stay with MIL tonight though I'm sure we'd stay over there so late that by the time we got home I'd be tired and ready for bed anyways. I have never felt so bad for wanting SS to disappear for a while so earlier to a home hitch when all he is doing is ignoring me, and a lot of the attention DH is giving him is guilt attention for not getting off time with him during his Spring Break.

I feel like a bitch but a down one. DH has asked me what is wrong but I don't feel like I can tell him without the guilt trip of "SS needs attention" or "Well you always go to bed early", etc.