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How much of copays are we going to be responsible for?

sickofitall's picture

Sorry if this posts twice. Had a computer problem and didnt seem to post.

SD is emancipated at age 22 at the end of the month. After 18 years of hard times we are going to finally be able to breath. As I posted before SD hates me and DH and our kids. Has had nothing to do with us for 3 years. very enmeshed with her mom who has BPD and bipolar. Honestly its a losing battle and me and DH have finally come to terms with things.

After much thought and asking people here Smile DH wants to drop SD from insurance. BM is pissed naturally and told him to do the right thing. DH told her to have SD call and discuss everything with him and that he is willing to accept an apology for whatever past wrongdoings she has done if she will accept his apology and we can move on in a positive way. SD had contacted us by email and it didnt go well. DH tried to say he loved her tried to do the best he could for her. Saw her as much as allowed.She wasnt satisfied.Basically wants him to put our two kids below her. She told us to go to hell and wants nothing to do with us. So we are dropping. Its over and done.

DHs CO states we are responsible for half of all medical and dental copays. BM only sends them once in a while. Hadnt received any for at least a year. Got one in the mail today for $300. Dental. ANd we will owe it. Not a problem. She said she is sending more. SD sees about 4 specialists and regular doctors and bloodwork constantly.has always abused the hell out of the insurance. There is nothing wrong with her at all that a psychiatrist couldnt cure but they seem to love the medical attention.But nothing we could do about who she sees and why. We have paid when we have gotten bills because thats what the CO states.

I think she is gathering up as many copays as she can to bleed every last dollar out of us. Would you pay a whole years worth if she sends it? It will definitely be in the hundreds. Or tell her to screw off and pay 90 days worth? Shes going to torture us til the end. That I am sure of. I honestly dont have the first $300 but will have to scrape it up because we owe it. CS is through the state so God knows when the actual garnishment will stop. What would you do?

sickofitall's picture

Cant seem to edit... Divorce decree doesnt really say anything about time frames as far as receiving and payment. Very vague.

sickofitall's picture

I figured that. The decree is vague all over except for emancipation thank goodness. Its DHs fault as I have told him many times. }:)
Whats done is done. Im not willing to go to court and most likely lose at this point in the game. Thanks.

sickofitall's picture

Youre probably right. Shell use this as a means to keep a hold on us if we dont pay. But I know her. Shell find more
to send. Its been a year and I know SD goes at least once a month for bloodwork, MRIS ,specialists
whatevr. So far shes seem allergists, gastroenterolgists, MRI for headaches, Hematologist, gyn, General practioner,endocrinologist, urologist. Thats only the ones i know about. Not counting medications for bs like allergies,asthma, anxiety etc. LOL

Guess Im on the hook. Hope CS stops as quickly as collection unit promises. I wont hold my breath. Blum 3

Evil stepmonster's picture

She's 22 right? How long was he ordered to pay CS and medical. Here it's usually untill the 18th birthday or Highschool graduation which ever comes first. I think there is one stipulation that if the child is in college and still depends on parents for support then CS last until the child is 23 as long as he or she is enrolled in school full time. Normally, the copay or medical charges have to be handed to the NCP within 30 days of recieving the bill.

sickofitall's picture

This was originally written in 1994. So not really much detail at all. Just what I wrote above.
Just that shes completely emancipated at 22 so weve been paying all along but BM sends them for
6 months or so then none for a year. She likes to let them build up for a substancial payout and weve told her before not to do that. Send them every 60 days at least but it falls on deaf ears. Probably wind up paying it I guess because shes going to
use this as a reason to keep in touch and fight.Just not sure where to get the money from.LOL

I wish there had been more detail in his decree. Not sure if was the times and thats how things were
done or crappy lawyers. Thanks

sickofitall's picture

Thats a great idea. I couldnt hand her $300 right now anyway. Ill see what happens at the end of the month.

Glassslipper's picture

Confused, I would have slammed the door shut at 18 and told SD to pay her own bills but that's because in my state they are done when they turn 18 or graduate.

But BM has done a very similar thing to us just this last month and we talked to our lawyer.
SD9 has medical bills, BM claims she pays them 100% and never asks for reimbursement per the court order and that's why we live a "lavish" lifestyle (her words,not mine) and she suffers under the crushing weight of the childrens debt (LMAO, not true, she drinks all her money)
DH pays his 1/2 of all bills submitted to us by BM, and pays 100% of any bills mailed to our home.
Then suddenly she came after us for medical expenses dating back as far as she find for stuff she never submitted for DH to pay half of, weird stuff like 1/2 MD office co-pay, which we take her 1/2 the time to the doctor and we never submit to her for half the 20.00 co-pay.
Lawyer said she has 30 day to submit...that's all per our court order, if she waits over 30 days, they are no longer valid.
luckily DH's lawyer put a clause in there to protect against years of "unpaid" piling up...

sickofitall's picture

Yes my DH had no clue when he got divorced and his lawyer didnt seem to have his best interests in mind. Its 22 in my state for emancipation if theyre in college. We are slamming the door at that point. She cant go back more than a year anyway because she was sending them up to a year ago so thats one small thing in our favor.

It will be quite a few hundred though. Im sure thats what BM is thinking. Dental plus medical copays
will probably equal close to 1 more CS payment.

Evil stepmonster's picture

Just remember, after the copay is paid off, there is no amount of money that SD or BM can suck out of yall anymore. Yalls money will be yalls only and there isn't a damn thing they can do about it. Squint, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel...the glorious light that can never be blacked out again. Yay!!

sickofitall's picture

Yes I am so happy! I have waited so long for this. It has been a long,sad journey. I feel like
me and DH will be at peace finally. We werent really obsessed with the CS all along. But the
last 3 years have been so hard financially and with SD wanting nothing to do with us-well-
it kind of eats you up. Especially when you have to tell your kids no or you have to do some
creative bookkeeping just to pay the bills. Smile

BM has always had a man there to support her. She doesnt work and neither does SD. The idiot
that pays the bills is about to lose almost $1000 a month in his monthly budget. Hope they know
how to be creative like I had to be! Smile

Calypso1977's picture

depends upon the agreement.

my fiance's states that receipts must be submitted within 30 days or she forfeits the 1/2.

in 3+ years she's never submitted one receipt for copayment. we think she doesnt know she's eligible to get 1/2 back and we certainly arent going to tell her, not when my fiance pays thru the nose for the family coverage that BM still gets to benefit from until we marry (then she gets kicked off).