How long did you know the guy before you got married to him? What happened? Did you see any red flags before you got married to him or did he change afterwards? He needs to get real because no person on earth is going to put up with that. As far as the Sks are concerned you don’t have to love them, but you have to be nice to them. I would not give up on it yet and maybe the counseling will help. If not, admit that you made a mistake a move forward. All of us have made mistakes and thats why we are on this board.

I'm feeling similarly to you. I'm not sure my life with dh will work out. I love him like I always have, but my brain is thinking that maybe I'm not going to get enough of my needs met to make this thing worthwhile. It sounds harsh, but if you don't get certain amounts of your needs met, you're denying yourself a happy life...so you'll want to get out.
The thing that keeps me hanging in there is, for one, he'll work on the problems with me. Granted we have our screamfests, but after we both calm down we can talk about things. And granted, he'll still sometimes do things that I don't get consulted on or approve of, in the bigger picture he doesn't cheat, lie, steal or do any of the other biggies.
When I left my exH it was for very good reasons...abuse, etc. and I felt like I would never be able to love again. But in time and with therapy, I wrote a list of qualities I absolutely needed in a guy. I never thought I would ever need it because I thought I'd never find anyone I'd love again. But after I met dh I truly found real, bottom of my heart love...so our problems are really, really hurtful to me. So the other day when I was completely fed up and ready to throw in the towel, I decided to look at that list. DH has all the qualities that I was looking for. That's when I realized at his core, he's a good man...he's all the things I wanted when I first met him. The problem is our situation and the issues that come up, not how he is as a person. That's when I realized I had a problem too and need help...that's why I'm here and seeing a counselor. I know that I've made a good decision to keep trying.
So, like I said, think about who he is as a person instead of how he acts before you do something you might regret.
Hugs to you!

Hey, hon...

I remember wanting OUT after five months; I also want OUT after
almost five years.

After time, I've become CONDITIONED to some things, but I also will not TOLERATE lots of things I did at the beginning. In many ways,
my H is the most self-centered jackass I ever met. In other ways,
he's pretty OK.

I think a LOT of it has to do with our OWN lives. I KNOW I could live just FINE by myself, I would find LOVE again, and I question
whether maybe I should just tell HIM and his SKANKY daughters to just
F**K off. (They don't LIKE me, but they RESPECT me; NO ONE respects
him)

RIGHT NOW, at this very MINUTE, I cannot stand the THOUGHT of my
H. He is a pussy-whipped little "daddy" who jumps whenever those
skanks tell him to do so. I'm not in the MOOD to compete with them.
But, I'm also NOT in the mood to pay bills and all those other
great things that WIVES are supposed to do. I KNOW that I will NEVER
really LIKE my adult SDs, and that IS a problem for me. I get along
with everyone!! People like me!! I just DO NOT LIKE THEM, and I KNOW
I never will.

Keep venting. It helps. You'll know when you reached "the limit".

but I bailed on my first marriage after about six months. I too questioned myself alot while making the decision to leave - after only six months can I say I really even tried... what will people think... those kinds of questions, and actually I was really close to his two daughters, how could I let them down? However I knew I NEEDED out of the situation, different reasons than yours but very valid ones (he decided not to work and take up drinking all day instead, among other things). So I left. It was definitely hard but as it turned out I still have a great relationship with his daughters, my friends were nothing but relieved that I left and looking back I know that no amount of trying would have changed anything.

What about him attracted you in the first place, do those qualities still exist, do they still attract you? Was he the other end of the pendulum from something that was lacking in a prior relationship? Maybe it turns out a strong take control kind of guy isn't what you really want after all... there are lots of reasons we all get ourselves into these situations. We just have to figure out when it's time to get out of them and not feel bad about it.

SO - I say if you know you know, and if you know you should go. There isn't much about your situation that sounds like it is good for you. If the counseling helps then maybe, but like Fearless said the chance of significant long-term change probably isn't too good. The stage you're in SUCKS, and so do the next couple of stages but then you find yourself with your feet underneath you again and you have YOUR life back - it's a really, really great feeling.

Good luck and remember there will be light at the end of the tunnel whichever direction you decide to go because you will REQUIRE that light for yourself.

AND he seems to have changed in his way of treating you now that you're married...

You may be smart to get out now.

I too, realized early on I wasn't happy in my first marriage. BUT... I was young, didn't have the best role model in my parents marriage, and kept thinking, "well...married people fight, and don't always like each other or want to have sex right?" Isn't that what all the sitcoms show?

You seem to really know deep down that you're not happy, that his way of trying to control you isn't right. If he's a chauvinist and you're independent, that seems like a real clash of cultures. He needs someone barefoot, pregnant, serving gourmet meals while wearing a French maid's uniform.

And you need a REAL man who doesn't need to control the "little lady" in order to feel masculine.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra