Come witness my solemn oath!!!
Something crazy has happened. To catch you up if you don't know me, I have BD6 from my first marriage, SD6 part time from DH's first marriage and BD2 with DH...
Ok, so BD6's father has never really been incredibly involved with BD6. Months have passed without us seeing or hearing from him, and if he wasn't so careful with the child support I probably would not have known if he was still alive at times or not. I would say it is sad for BD6 but it has not been because she was very young when we split so no attachment was formed and DH is an excellent stepdad, and grandpa spoils her rotten so she has plenty of reliable male influences in her life. But I digress...
Over the past year my ex has been more and more involved with BD6. At first I did not think much of it, then he started taking her on time every other weekend. Usually it is a brief sleepover, but the consistency is unprecedented. He has never been this reliable before. A week and a half ago he even went to her ballet recital. My mind was officially BLOWN!
I realized this was partially to do with his new girlfriend when he announced awhile ago that she was pregnant and moving in. At this point I did Facebook stalk her. I did not do this for any reason other than to get an idea for the woman my daughter would be around when she went to her dads house. She looked normal, no satanic pictures, so life continues. Anyways today I picked BD6 up from her dad and his gf and something hit me good and hard!
I AM THE BM!
So I am here today to solemnly swear to be the best, least obnoxious BM possible (without croaking)!
I promise to teach BD6 to respect her SM when she is at their house, the same way she respects her father. I promise to never ever do anything to impede on her 'territory' (which is kind of redundant since me and the ex are never ever even if there was a penis shortage on earth going to happen again), and I promise to maintain all respectful boundaries.
I promise to not do any of the annoying things that SD6's BM does, and I promise to only be involved in matters directly pertaining to BD6 as far as they are concerned!
Anyone else have any tips that do not involve me falling off of the face of the earth to be the best BM possible?
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Comments
It occurred to me today that
It occurred to me today that my DD would be the SD from hell for someone. TG her dad and I are together. I swear she does sh!t just to annoy me and moves on to something if I ignore it. She would torture an unsuspecting SM and my DH was guilty dad with the skids I can only imagine that train wreck....
Anywho, good for you for realizing healthy boundaries. Maybe reach out to GF and let her and exH know you plan to support them and keep your DD respectful.
Honest Injun Mudder? That's
Honest Injun Mudder?
That's nice you both got off on a good note.
I'm a BM too. I actually like my BD SM. We don't even have rules for communicating or handling BD (BD is a great kid tho).
But flip the record & you have my insane BM. No rules, just a restraining order
Good luck, "BM"
Lol, my advice would be,
Lol, my advice would be, don't show up at the hospital when her kid is born, don't break into her house to leave 4 bags of hand-me-downs, and don't call your ex up next year and tell him you are in love with him and want to be a family.
So yeah, I think you have it covered
LMAO. Very helpful advice,
LMAO. Very helpful advice, Dragon. You hear that Apples? Not a good idea to drive to the hospital in her car either. Sheesh
What's sad is that my BM is
What's sad is that my BM is so crazy that she was actually upset when I called the cops when I woke up to her standing next to my bed....
You're kidding?! But you
You're kidding?! But you know, somehow our BMs just don't surprise me anymore. This is something she would do but I think mine would have a pillow in her hands.
Remember how important
Remember how important boundaries are. And remember that whether or not it started out that way, it looks like you and your ex will both be trying very hard at being good parents.
Just teach respect for all
Just teach respect for all adults and don't take what a child says as gospel. They quickly catch on to any tensions between households and will use that as a wedge and manipulate to get their way. It's normal for a kid to do whatever they can to get their way.
Otherwise, you have your own rules for your household and let them have their own rules for their household. The only reason to go against this would be if one of them wants your opinion on something.
And remember that the more adults who love your child, the better! It's not a competition.