BM screws us over for xmas again
What is it about holidays that makes her more of an a-hole than usual?
Last year we got SD to tell us what she wants for Christmas and a month in advance we let BM know the specific items from SDs list that we were getting her. So of course, being the psycho that she is, she gave SD the one big gift we got herself, a week before Christmas. BM claimed she forgot that we told her about it, but I knew she was just being a spiteful, hateful jerk.
We made the mistake of running our gifts by her again this year. We were REALLY careful to tell her specifically what we were getting for SD and asked very politely that she not get it for her... Go figure... SD got an early Christmas’s gift on Christmas Eve... and again we have now got to last minute shop for her.
Honestly, I just cannot wait until SD is 18 and we can just stop communicating with her stupid psychotic BM.
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Ok so NEXT year.... radio
Ok so NEXT year.... radio silence. We will remind you every month.
Dup. Sorry.
Dup. Sorry.
Next year give her a fake
Next year give her a fake list. I’m absolutely serious. Let her run out and try to beat you to the punch on something you had no intention of buying.
That’s what I was thinking
That’s what I was thinking
Tell her next year your
Tell her next year your sending her on an all expenses paid vacation to Fuji. }:)
either silence or fake list.
either silence or fake list. Chef would always give the Girhippo a heads up and it would never fail to backfire.
She ALWAYS sabotaged Christmas by buying the same gift in advance or spoilimg the surprise.
dup
dup
So either tell her nothing or
So either tell her nothing or give her things that you know SD would like but you're NOT getting. If she keeps doing it, why would you keep telling her...
The only reason we told her
The only reason we told her is because the items we usually get the kids are off of their letter to santa.
We wanted to try to ensure we were fulfilling the list, but apparently we cannot do that without gambling and risking that we buy the same thing.
Bit of reverse psychology
Bit of reverse psychology then. Tell BM all the things you DIDN'T get the skids. Then she'll get those things thinking you guys did and VOILA Santa's list fulfilled
We get the kids to give us
We get the kids to give us different lists of "ideas".
We did the list thing with BM
We did the list thing with BM one year...and one year only. It wasn't worth the aggravation.
Why would you tell BM what
Why would you tell BM what you buying kid for Christmas? Really there is no need for that
So sorry. This happened to us
So sorry.
This happened to us also. We told BM what the kids asked for at 'our' house out of compassion and kindness.
DH tried so hard to co-parent with her from jump street. What ever that means but to us it meant exchanging info that involved the child "ALWAYS", and additionally, if it too may effect her.
WE thought it was the right thing to do and of course the courts wanted divorced parents to for the sake of the kids.
Anyway, after a few years of her buying everything WE bought on the kid list at our house we became quit moving forward.
OF course she had to have Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and by the time the child arrived to open gifts 'OH I got that at my moms, oh this was given to me at my moms' every darn thing. One after another.
We gave up.
Livingoutloud,,I know why
Livingoutloud,,I know why they told the BM---out of kindness and compassion to not double buy.
That's why.
there are still good people who try to do the right thing...
I understand compassion and
I understand compassion and kindness. But last year they informed BM what they are getting, and she promptly bought the same thing. Surely she was going to do the same thing again, and she did. Past behavior is a predictor for the future.
Sure they can be kind and compassionate and inform BM next year again and then complain that she again did the same thing. Or they can buy what they feel like for Christmas and not worry about what BM buys. If it’s the same thing, gift could be exchanged. Not the end of the world .
Easy, just pick the MOST
Easy, just pick the MOST expensive item on SD's list and tell her THAT is what you are getting her. Then get her something different. Let BM put herself in the poor house. Shoot, add something on there that isn't on the list but is super expensive.. }:)
Am I the only one who things
Am I the only one who things duplicate gifts aren'tnecessarily a bad thing? SS sure isn't taking anything we buy him over there, as we would never see it again. We bought him a tablet this year. I was worried that we would have to deal with him pitching a fit about why he couldn't bring it to the BM's with him. Then we found out that BM and her parents got him the same tablet. There was no communication or discussion on it between us, it was a complete coincidence.
This way we don't need to worry about him trying to drag it back and forth, or being the bad guys when we tell him it has to stay at daddys house.