SS23 reached out to me yesterday morning asking if he could come over. SS as you all remember, moved out last year and got his girlfriend pregnant as I knew he would. Since he left, he came over about 3 times. Once in October to ask us to buy an iphone because he says his broke, once for Thanksgiving, and once after Christmas to exchange gifts. So I knew he wanted something.

After I dropped DD8 off at school, I picked him up at work (he works the overnight). I asked him how he was, he said he was fine, I began talking about how I was doing with SS18. I told him how I had just received SS18’s report card the day before and he was failing all of his classes as usual. I started to vent about his dad trucking and being gone and my concerns that SS18 was going to fail to launch and that I would possibly be stuck with him. He didn’t really say much of anything, just agreed with me in saying he would be frustrated if he had to take him in and have to deal with him. I had asked him how he would feel if SS18 lived with him and he did the minimum. I had imagine how it would feel for him to work his shift, go home, and see his brother sleeping or lounging on the couch, after eating the food and snacks he buys for his baby, himself and his gf. He said he would be annoyed. I explained that all SS18 does is smoke weed and be in his room, and because I already went through this with SS23, I no longer have the same level of patience. SS23 told me that he wishes he would have listened to me because he still struggles with quitting marijuana and he gets anxiety when even thinking about quitting long term.

After a couple of hours, he finally got around to what he wanted to ask. He goes, “I was thinking, and I haven’t said anything to GF but I was thinking that if I can stay here with GF, maybe it’ll help me quit smoking”. I explained to him that GF already has lived alone and would not likely like being under my household rules (she smokes a lot too, though SS says she quit since getting pregnant). I also told him that when he left, it was due to him not being able to contribute to the household due to blaming his weed habit, and then he says “well, it’s very dangerous where we live. 2 of my friends were shot in the corner store”.  He also says “I want to show GF what being in a family is. She’s not close to her family.” And I’m thinking to myself, but we aren’t close either!! How the hell can you show her about family when you have never been able to operate in a positive way in our own family?? I simply told him it wouldn’t work because his father is gone, I have issues with SS18 and he smokes and I just want to be alone with my daughter.

Before he left, he also mentioned that he made a friend that wants to (hold onto your panties):

Find out where famous rappers are going to strip clubs in Georgia. Then transport strippers from NY to Georgia so that they can strip in said club. They will take 20 percent of the proceeds from each girl. He plans to do this on this 2 days off. So when he gets off work, he plans to drive to GA and stay for 2 days then drive back. I asked him how this would work since he has the baby coming and he said GF doesn’t seem to mind.

I really hate how I knew this would happen. I feel like SS23 is probably panicking that he’s going to be a dad and in his head he thinks he can stay with us so we can be his built in babysitters, and he can still use his check on his weed habit. I think I’ll downsize to a studio apartment to discourage people from wanting to stay with me.