Hi there,

My husband and I have gotten in contact with a lawyer and apparenlty it is possible for an international custody arrangement to occur. There is apparently a Hague Convention that both of our countries are signed to. Therefore, there is protection that the child must be returned. As well as we could appear via phone or video conference for court proceedings in the US.

However, going to court is quite expensive. I have done some research on here, basically reading some of your court battles. I have also spoken and read some stuff for my husband. The lawyer basically said it would probably be a hearing or two. However based on some reading here I am guessing that isn't the case unless either the mother agree or we get a judge that sides with us.

So we thought we'd discuss this with the mother and see what she said. As I stated previously she is not one who is consistent in ensuring contact betwen my husband and his son. However, via Whatsapp she is pretty okay with text back and forth, I mean sometimes it takes her hours or a day to respond but at least she responds. It is usually a 'I am at work' or '(child's name) is sleeping already' or 'I'll call tonight'. Anyway we responded to her within minutes of her response and she actually responded this time right away. My husband basically asked when next would he be able to talk to his son. She said he was already asleep. Then my husband told her that it isn't fair that he hasn't spoken to his son and so on. He also brought up the whole him coming down here to visit during the summers and such. She of course said no. He then told her that he had spoken to a lawyer who said that a court would allow it and it has happenned in the past as well as the Hague Conventions and such. Her response was I probably should not be communicating with someone who is threatening legal action against me especially without legal representation.

My husband has tried texting with her after that and she has been radio silence since. You know on Whatsapp it has the blue ticks if the person has seen the message. Well according to that she has not even been opening the messages.

We are just wondering if it is all worth it going to court finacially wise. I mean doing the math it seems cheaper to visit him than going to court. However, my husband gets so little time with his son. He would also like to be in the know about how is doing in school and stuff like that. The mother is not very forthcoming about these things and his son isn't at the age where he can articulate in great detail things about his academics. However, the mother thinks that the child is old enough to answer questions about school and if my husband has questions he should ask the child.

As it stands if my husband visits him the mother allows him to take his son however never overnight. And until recently my husband was using all his vacation days to visit one place to see his son. She also inconsistenly allows FaceTime. But she has this habit of calling 5 minutes before his son has to go to bed and he is yawning and half asleep. Plus I am pregnant and I am not sure if I want a whole lot of drama around this time.

My husband has even told her that if they can set up more consistent contact as well as make him aware of academic and health information concerning his son he may reconsider pushing the travel issue. She hasn't seen or responded to the message either. I am sorry if this is a bit confusing but I just don't know what is the right choice here. I think it would be lovely for my husband, his family and his son if his son could come down. But I don't know if I'm willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on it. I also do not want to only travel to one place for the next eight years. Plus I know how much my husband loves is son and wants to be as active as he can in his son's life. I just do not know what the answer is.