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Different way of handling things than my MIL

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Fri, 06/17/2022 - 4:41pm

My MIL is disappointed that the baby and I won't be going with DH to visit his son. We've only been once before and it was very difficult to manage the babies naps with the activities that his son wanted to do. He was also not understanding of the babies needs and wasn't really interested in her. I ended up staying with the baby in the hotel while the boys went out. I also think that DH and his son need the time together.

Make it make sense BM

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Tue, 06/07/2022 - 4:51am

DH gave BM the dates that he would be coming up to visit his son this summer. Apparently a few weeks back BM asked DH for his dates but DH did not have them yet so he told her; he did not know when yet. DH also though that there was no rush to give the dates because usually BM's mom keeps him for the summer so it is never a problem. I am not sure what has happened and BM hasn't said but it seems like BM is also looking after her nieces which BM's mom has custody of. She did not tell DH any of that when she asked for his dates. If she had he would have organised the dates earlier. 

Are these as bad as it seems or can being closer fix it?

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Sun, 01/09/2022 - 5:48pm

I just want to have some honest feedback from you all who are more involved with the step-parenting thing. DH wants apply for a work transfer to move country to be closer to his son. There is no guarantee that it will be for more than 3 years. And we have a baby together. But, reading the stories on this site scares me especially in light of actually having some interactions with the existing dynamics. DH definitely sugarcoated a lot of issues and part of me wonders if that is how he truly sees the situation or he is being willfully blind.

I told DH I don't want to move

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Mon, 01/03/2022 - 8:47am

It has been a while since I have been on here. But, you ladies are a lot more experienced in step families than a lot of people I know. My DH has always talked about moving once his 7 years were up. He wanted to be near his son and he really enjoyed living in a big city. We have visited my DH's son as a family twice already; once last summer and over Christmas. If we were childless I would actually jump at the chance. But, we are not.

It is just so Frustrating

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Sat, 11/07/2020 - 4:54pm

It has been another spell of no contact between my husband and his son again. His son's mom has apparently moved out of her mom's house because of covid and her mom having underlining health conditions. His son's mom works as a respiratory therapist so it makes sense. His son still lives with the grandmother and is doing fully online learning. Now apparently the grandmother doesn't think it is her job to facilitate phone conversations with my husband and his son because she doesn't want my husband to have her contact information.

What should we do in the interim on our side to show his son we care?

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Thu, 07/02/2020 - 12:37pm

Last week was father’s day and my husband got to FaceTime his son. I got my husband some stuff for father’s day because I am pregnant and he has a son. I had considered reaching out to his son mom so that I can speak to his son and ask if there was something he wanted me to get his dad for father’s day. I decided against it because I felt like it would be weird and awkward since I didn’t know him and we live in two different countries. But, I did put his name on the card and gift that I got my husband and my husband open the gifts in front of him on FaceTime.

Can someone explain this to me please

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Wed, 05/06/2020 - 2:11pm

Hi there!

My husband and I are trying to fill out some of the papers for the petition. One of the things that came up is a declaration of Paternity. We are trying to do some research on this and we are confused. If the fathers name is on the birth certificate does that mean that a declaration of paternity or a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity was signed by the father? They were never married. Is there a place we can call to verify this because it seems that the type of form we fill out depends on this?

We do not know what we should do

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Submitted by mrs_belle on Sun, 04/26/2020 - 6:56am

Hi there,

My husband and I have gotten in contact with a lawyer and apparenlty it is possible for an international custody arrangement to occur. There is apparently a Hague Convention that both of our countries are signed to. Therefore, there is protection that the child must be returned. As well as we could appear via phone or video conference for court proceedings in the US.