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Part of me wants to stay and the other part says go...

cantmissamy's picture

Submitted by cantmissamy on Sun, 11/08/2009 - 3:02pm

Fsil showed up today, and of course this was a nightmare. It was like you two really need to think about things before you get married here. I have delt with so much in the past four months with fdh being gone from his mother, and now that he is home am now having to deal with it from fsil. I am really not sure how much more of this I can take here. Part of me wants to pack my bags and leave, but the other part wants to stay because I am in love with fdh. He has told me that his past relationship have not lasted, and from what I am going through now with his family I can see why. I have accepted the fact that I will never be accepted by his family and in a way it makes me very sad. I wonder how in the world I am going to make it through the holidays with them? I mean what in the world are they going to say to me next when he is not in the room?
We were going to get married in a couple weeks, but I told fdh that there is no rush to get married here. Right now am just feeling sad and confused and not sure what to do here.

Comments

wicked step mother's picture

Submitted by wicked step mother on Sun, 11/08/2009 - 3:43pm

Hello. 6 months before I married my DH I said that we should wait a while to see how things go becuase our relationship had more red flags than an interstate roadcrew! His response was that he needed me to marry him to become the man he knew he could be. Well he did he advanced his career is successful. Has two sucessful sons and everyone loves him in his social setting. He failed to mention it would all be done by me doing all the work in our home and relationship or that it would take 17 years for him to become the man I needed him to be! So Please Please Please, take heed and put this off.

buttercup123's picture

Submitted by buttercup123 on Sun, 11/08/2009 - 8:16pm

If there is even one flag I would put it off!!! If you are sad and confused it's no way to start a marriage. Hang in there.

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 8:14am

CM, I have a SIL who said we should wait to get married. Just a big ole jealous bully. DH was her misery buddy before I came along, long divorced and soon to be divorced (DH). There was no reason to wait, we are adults (late 40s LOL) and we just went ahead and eloped. She didn't like it and trashed us to the family, became buddies with BM. She even asked BM if she was hurt that we got married when we did. Can you say interfering, meddling, Biotch? Some people (esp. women) are overly attached and involved in their siblings/children's lives. They don't like it when there is a new Queen in town. That'd be you.

DH is fully aware of how sicko his sisters are and stood up for me and US to them. That is key here. Does your BF see how they are? Will he set boundaries and refuse to put up with BS? Our first Christmas, two of the SILs ignored me and hugged DH. BM was on her way to the party, of course. We left. They tried to say I was being a drama diva, yeah, right. I know when I'm being ignored. They're just not used to someone calling them on it.