Just when I think Fmil is getting the point I get a rude awakening. This is long and if anyone reads this and gives me feed back, thank you so much, I really appreciate it!!!

I think I've mentioned before that when fdh and I began dating he working out of town mon-fri and when he came home on the weekends he lived with his mom & step dad thus she did a lot of the care taking of fss, well in addition to that she'd pick up fss from bm on fridays b/c fmil works in the city bm lives in. I thought it was irresponsible for fdh to be letting his mother do the transportation on fri but hey, we were justing dating and none of my business.

Well when we bought our home fmil got really intrusive and started acting controlling with us. I honestly feel like it was b/c fdh moved out and she felt like didn't have control anymore of her son & grandson. The last time she picked up fss we went to get him and she opened the door but kept the screen door locked and started screaming at fdh that she was his mom and he needed to appreciate her because she picks up fss for him and he needed to come see her more (she was mad because we weren't spending as much time there and she was mad that we were just swinging by to pick up fss and not to hang out) and she wouldn't unlock the door to let fss out, she even started crying like a wacko, it was ridiculous. Anyway, after that last fiasco I talked to fdh and said that these things were happening with fmil b/c he was relying on his her to pick fss up thus she thinks he owes her something, hell she thinks I owe her something so since that last melt down he hasn't allowed her to pick fss up from bm for him, we'll take him to see her for a few hours or she'll pick him up to go to church sometimes but other than that, no pick ups.

2 weeks ago she calls fdh and asks if she can pick up fss b/c she wanted to do something w/ him that afternoon, fdh says sure why not because lately she seems to backing off and seems to understand her place. well when we go to pick fss up we notice when he's interacting w/ grandma instead of being polite to ask for things like he usually does with us, for ex. instead of asking for juice, he looks at the juice and points at it and she scrambles over to fss and gives him the juice. so fdh says "hey you need to ask for juice fss, you don't point like that!" and fmil and fsil get all emotional telling fdh to leave fss alone. fdh let it go and we left. whatever, fine, right?

Wellllll, flash forward to this weekend she call fdh and asks him again if she can pick up fss, fdh knows he's getting out of work late and says sure why not. I got annoyed and told fdh that he's going to stir up problems again with his mom because even though she's asking to pick up fss she's going to interpret that as though she's doing fdh a favor and start being cray cray again...

well fdh calls fmil and asks if she can please be on fss with his manners as far as asking for things and saying please, thank you etc and also when they eat dinner to please have him sit with them and eat what they are eating because that's what we're working on with him at home. fmil says sure and hangs up. well an hour later, after dwelling I guess? She calls fdh back and starts tearing into fdh that he doesn't need to call her and tell what what do with fss that when fss is with her it's her time and she can do whatever she wants and feed him whatever he wants because she thinks kids have a choice of what they want to eat and it's not right that fdh is trying to make him eat the food we eat because fss is picky, fdh cuts her off and says, if she refuses to do those things w/fss then he doesn't need to allow fss to visit her and that he'd be right there to pick him up at which point fmil slows her roll and says no no please don't get him, and that she'll do it...

So later on that day she calls and asks if fss can spend the night with her b/c he hasn't spent the night in a while-fdh says okay but that he'll get him early saturday morning. fmil calls Sat morning says she'll just bring him by b/c she's on her way to the mall. Well when she gets there I ask fdh is he can just let fss in and tell fmil we're leaving (to imply to her that she doens't need to come in) because I was getting ready and the house a mess, well next thing i know fmil and fsil are in MY bedroom looking at our new puppy ooohing and ahhing! I was pissed. First of all I didn't want them to come in because the house was messy and I certainly didn't want them in MY bedroom. Fdh comes into the bathroom and I ask him why the HELL is his mom and sister in our bedroom and he says they kind of just walked past him and went in without asking him and he also says that fmil wants to "talk" to us. So I thought oooh here we go... so I got out into the living room which fmil & fsil had already gone into and fmil says "I'd like to talk to you guys.." and starts walking into my bedroom. I feel stupid now even writing this, I should have said "hell no and get the F outta my house" but I didn't. Sooo fmil, fdh and i go into our bedroom and she starts going off saying that she thinks that fdh is too hard on fss and that she thinks that fdh yells at fss and fss told her he wanted to go back to bm b/c fdh is mean to him. so she was basically there scolding fdh for parenting his child. fdh is nowhere mean to fss, he corrects him when he needs it and lately we've been working on his food issues but c'mon. fmil husband likes to sing a song to fss about pulling his hair when it gets long and he'll playfully tug his hair and he went home once and told bm papa is pulling my hair!! in addition to that fss just got a new game at bms and was even asking us to take him home early bc he wanted to play his new game, I seriously think this all happened because of what fdh asked her to do on friday in regards to fss. fdh didn't say anything he just asid "...okay mom". I think she made him feel guilty like him pareting his kid is wrong... ughhhh I'm livid though. I wanted to say something but I have this whole "don't want to disrespect fmil" in my head but she's disrepecting me!!! Taking me and fdh into our own bedroom to give a scolding, she even starting doing that shaking her finger at fdh like shame on you. At this point I'm wondering if I should speak up if this happens again because no matter how many times fdh shuts her down she seems to come up with something else. I don't even want this woman in my house again, of course that isn't realistic, I just want her to know what she did was majorly inappropriate and that if we want advice from her we'll ask! Should I keep keeping my mouth shut??

To top it she had the audacity to call sunday morning asking if fss to could go to church with her, fdh told her no and then she started asking "are you treating fss nice? you're not yelling at him, are you?" fdh just said "bye mom" and hung up on her. This woman needs to swallow a dose of reality and realize that she had her chance to raise her kids and now isn't the time to trying to raise fss vicariously thru fdh. smfh!!!