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why does she deserve custody

TooNewTOoknowBetta's picture

Submitted by TooNewTOoknowBetta on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 2:05am

So I have been thinking... my boyfriends BM, has been a pain in my side from the beginning of our relationship. She has called me and left threatening messages, and called me everything but a child of god... not to mention made threats about kicking my @$$ right in front of SD. Now truly I find this comical... Comical because she is upset with me because I am a better mother then her.. atleast in my eyes, now SD would probably give us a 50-50 split but hell she is only 5. Now we...and yes I say we, have been on child support for about a year now. My problem is that she lives in another city about 1 1/2 hours away, which we drive my car to almost every weekend, and we fight over splitting holidays... but during the summer it's like she can't wait for us to get her... but why... During this time we continue to pay child support... she doesn't send her any clothes, shoes, etc... not to mention help out with any SD's expenses... I.e. Summer Camp, Hair, etc... her lack luster attitude is exuded all year long... I normally find myself doing hair all weekend... and buying or trying to find something for her to wear... and working with her on the basics that every 5 year old should know... but not hers... so why does she deserve custody? I mean if we can keep that money here and afford to take care of SD... why can't he just get custody of SD? why should we send it BM... If he were to try and get custody does anyone know what He would need? this is almost a major concern when it comes to tying the knot?

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belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 8:18am

and do they have a court-ordered custody agreement? If so, and if you're serious, maybe you and your BF should talk about getting the order changed...

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 8:25am

Me and DH get SD for 4.5 weeks out of the summer -and CS is still sent. Which was have no problem with - hopefully it helps get her ready for school and the like. But why does Sd come with clothing to small..... Why is some of her medications and things not there? Why do you call and ask for additional monies and when the child support will be placed in your account when SD is not there.

I think they do it - just to be irritating. If she is not doing what is necessary for the little girl - maybe have BF talk with her about making some changes.

Anne Summers's picture

Submitted by Anne Summers on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:47am

I know, it is difficult to see that CS is pissed away on things the BM wants and not for the child.

Especially difficult to send it during the times that your SKid(s) are primarly over with you for a long visit. However, remember that in most states CS is calculated based on the number of days that the court order says the child is with each parent and what each parent is paying for (day care, medical expenses, etc). So, in the eyes of the law, BM is not getting anymore money than what the law states she should for CS.

One nifty little thing some states are considering turning towards is a debit card for CS similar to EBT (Food Stamps) cards that can only be used for certain allowable items. I believe that this would be a God send for all of the NCPs and SKid(s) out there---maybe some of that CS money would actually be used toward the child. Wink

As of now, my DH and I have went to a pre-paid Visa card system for CS. The clever thing about this is that it shows where purchases are made, how much and dates. We can highlight the dates that SD was not with BM. Thus if we ever go back to court it will be "ammunition" against BM. To show that she is selfishly using CS for herself instead of providing SD with neccessities---such as clothes with no holes in them.

Take care,
Anne

PS...When I was growing up I was fortunate enough to have a mom that placed all of the CS money into my own checking account. I was able to buy the items I wanted from CS, such as clothes and such, but not truly allowed to "blow" all the money on junk like fast food, etc.

Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat.