How could you plan this? PREGNANCY?
Again I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years... he has one daughter 5, as well as myself. My daughter is the hare, and his is the turtle... but let me get to the topic.. When I met him I was made aware immediately of his BM. Now I didn't know she was a hot ghettos mess... because I am just the opposite. I am very well spoken and from the middle class... which would make me assume that maybe she was some what put together, or atleast similar to myself... hell no! After meeting her, on her numerous pop up dropoffs... this is when I realized This girl is ghetto... but this wasn't the worst. The worst was having her take advantage of my mothering skills because she has none... or maybe they are like hidden talents. This was from doing Sd's hair, to giving her all my daughters clothes as hand me downs... simply because she had none... or letting them share what my daughter had. The biggest suprise is that my SD actually has an older brother that use to call my boyfriend dad... so it was apparent before they had a child how lack luster her skills were... from his lips to these pages, she was lazy, rarely employeed, never had a job that paid over $10.00 an hour, not to mention that her interaction with her son was limited. She would prefer my boyfriend sit home with him why she went out to the club, and collected child support so she could do what she pleased with it... so could someone please tellme why...WHY!!!!!!! WHY IN THE HELL.... did he plan to have a baby with her? why was SD written in the stars when there wasn't a night fall/a life for her to shine in? now I know I am asking why planning a pregnancy with some one that has clearly shown you that her parenting is non existent... and why should I pay the price for his poor decision? if he loved her great... but it doens't mean make a baby.. atleast that is what he tells me when I say I want a love child? again pleast tell me why?
before anyone asks... my daughter was the best suprise of my life... but I promise you that when the process was going down the goal was to catch an Orgasm.... not make a baby.. however when the man above has a plan.. who am I to deter it!!! I love my daughter and I think the man above for her... because as I have said previously... even with my boyfgriend being around I am my BD's mother and father, and all though we (GOD and I) may of had different plans I think we want the same ending... atleast I can only pray!!!
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I stopped asking why a loooong time ago
Hubby had a daughter with his ex and things were not going well at all. I couldn't understand why then they had a second child together. By the time the 2nd was 2 she had run off with the new woman in her life...yes she decided then to tell him she was bi-sexual. Im thinking the sign had to have been there but he says no. Anywho, when i've asked him about bringing his son into the mess he says it wasn't planned and nothing either of them wanted as a matter of fact she cried and not tears of joy. I stepped into the picture shortly there after...not as a girlfriend just as a friend (we met in junior high) to help him navigate single fatherhood and get through a very difficult divorce. Yes when she ran off she left her 4 year old and not quite 2 year old behind...wish she would have stayed gone.
Until we had our daughter he often wondered if his son was really his son but our daughter looks sooo much like her half brother. I have had to stop wondering why he had multiple children with a person who showed every sign of not being all there.
Yeah, I ask that question as well........
She was about the same she is now and was ubber spoiled. Still living at home with parents until 26 years old - because she could not manage her paycheck and even with graduating college with an English degree and no kids at the time - her parents still paid all her bills and she worked part-time at the watch shop for spending money.
They say "love is blind" and
They say "love is blind" and sometimes we can put aside all the negative things about somebody and only see 1 or 2 of the positives. My ex hubby wasn't too involved in our oldest daughters life. Sure we all lived together, but when it came down to actually taking care of her, he'd be too preoccupied with all of his hobbies etc that she'd be in a dirty diaper most of the day. We didn't get along, we couldn't meet each others needs, yet we still chose to make another baby. WHY? Because I was able to see past things and see that although he didn't meet need A he met need B. Of course, like always, the after glow of having a new baby soon fades and all of reality sets back in... he/she didn't change.
He has a past, you have a past. I know the feeling of being reminded of it. My DH pays BM enough money to not have to work more than 2 days per month. While I'm sitting in my office and my children are in daycare his EX and his kids are lounging by the pool all day soaking up the sun. We have his kids EW and every Tuesday. He still pays out a ton of $$ just so nothing in their life would have to change. She's lazy, doesn't do much of a job of being a mother (she can teach them to bake cookies but NOT how to groom). Yet she's still "entitled" to all he has to offer, just not a relationship.
It sounds like to me there is a lot of resenment in your relationship. Ask yourself this question: If there were to be NO change in your relationship, could you go on like this for another 4/5+ years? If the answer is no, you may want to get out before it's too late.
"I aint no Carol Brady"