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So sad..

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So my fiance moved away and essentially left me. Even though he claims that it's just for awhile and that we should get married soon and I would move up there as well. Right now we are long distance (again) and its an 8 hr drive between us. At first it didn't bother me so much but the more time away from him that I am and the more I've had to think about things, the more I realize he hasn't taken into account my feelings in all of this and just expected me to move with him.

Update...engaged!!!..but Fiance moving away for work

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So BF finally popped the question..I've been expecting it..he talks about getting married all the time but until now hasn't produced a ring. its pretty exciting and all but the catch is..he's moving away for work way up north (9 hrs or so from me) for 1-2 years..obviously he wants me to go with him but as of now I can't go..I can't just drop everything because he's decided thats what he needs to do to further his career. anyway...since hes gone a bit he's also dropping out of the custody battle with his ex and her husband. this is the tricky part.

Close to the End...

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For all of you that have been keeping up with my bogs/forum topics and have noticed that I have been at the end of my rope for awhile now..well i have decided to give myself some time be alone and think about my options and my future. For those of you that don't know..my BF is into drugs and dealing it. I don't remember who said it (sorry!) but someone wrote on my blog that everyone is only allowed a certain amount of baggage to bring into a relationship. Well my BF has brought 2 huge items of baggage into our life together (son and drugs). I just can't take it anymore.

This is Odd...

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I just realized after reading someone's blog about how everyone seems to have a pyscho BM. Well in my case, the problem is my BF. I've met and talked with BM on several occasions. When she calls I pick up, not a problem at all there. She tells SS to listen to me, etc. All in all I think she and her husband are good people. The problem is my BF. I'm guessing he still has residual anger when dealing with BM and her husband.

Conflicting feelings...

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I've been having conflicting feelings about whether or not I want to stay with BF. There are many reasons not to be with him and at the center of it all would probably be his 5 yr old son. He is a pretty normal kid but I honestly think he's slowly taking away my desire and dream to have children of my own. It's not that I can't stand him, but I do retreat to be on my own as much as I can when he's around. I don't know how much more I can take. I can't imagine the rest of my life being so infuriating and irritating. I love my BF but I don't know if he's worth it.

It's that time again...

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Oh man...here we go again. SS5 is coming for the weekend. i always get so anxious before he comes and during his stay. i don't know what it is about him that makes me feel like that. I was going to go to my parents house this weekend but i have to stick around for at least 1 day because there is a social worker coming to observe us with him. see i just moved in with my bf. im pretty nervous about that too..i've met with her and talked with her already but i just don't like the idea that someone is coming to watch me interact with this kid and judge me for it.

Caution to readers: Problem with BF not SS

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Omgsh...I'm sooo angry right now that I just had to post something. Just a warning to those only interested in reading about skids. This isn't one of them. I think my BF has been lying to me about using drugs (or just ommiting info from me). I don't know if I'm just being paranoid..but when he goes out with his friends...he comes home with bloodshot eyes and is jittery. He takes out large amounts of cash then it all disappears.

Useless toys vs. educational toys

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What does everyone think about guilty parenting dads that buy only "cool toys" for their kids? my BF insists on buying the coolest toys (most expensive too) such as transformers, toy cars, airplanes, video games, etc, for his son and no books, board games,craft supplies, puzzles. I know men are like big kids themselves and I do remember my dad being the parent that always bought my sister and I the toys we wanted, whereas my mom would be the one that bought us books, colouring, etc.

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