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Finances...together or separate?

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Submitted by emmalee05 on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 7:19am

What do you all think about finances in terms of money spent on skids..right now my BF pays his own CS and most of the clothes/toys/food bought for SS. I have only come into SS's life since March of this year. I don't mind chipping in sometimes for food and I do buy little toys every once in a while for him but to be honest I don't see myself going any further than that. I don't imagine paying for college (BF doesn't have any savings of that kind set up), his first car, sports lessons & gear, etc. What do all your spouses expect of you in this matter?

Disengaging...right or wrong?

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Submitted by emmalee05 on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 7:15am

Ok guys, heres the questions. I've heard alot of talk about being able to disengage emotionally from the stresses and annoyances that being a step parent emcompasses. I heard many of you say how from the moment you decided to disengage that the heavy weight was lifted off your shoulders and you could breathe again. It obviously takes a conscious effort on our part and probably a significant amount of support from your spouse to be able to do this. BUT, I was talking about this with my social worker friend and somehow she got angry with me for not putting my SS first.

The truth

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Submitted by emmalee05 on Sat, 09/19/2009 - 7:44am

I know that we as steps are usually told that we are going to be 2nd to the kids forever but I honestly don't see it this way. I am still young in age and in the relationship with a great guy and his 5 yr old son but MOST of the time I can honestly say that I don't feel like I come in 2nd place. Sure sometimes I feel awkward and uncomfortable in their presence but it's not because of what my guy is doing it's just me being uneasy and anxious. It's hard for me lots of times too to come to terms with my relationship with my DH and how its different than his relationship with his son.

Not about SS, about my BF...

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Submitted by emmalee05 on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 8:51am

I don't know if this blog entry even has anything to do with my SS5, but I need to vent so I'm writing it here anyway! Sometimes I get really tired and frustrated of the differences between my BF and I. We grew up in two completely different family environments, parenting styles, and cultures! Logically, there would be no way we have found each other and love each other this much. But we do and it's by the grace of God. We really believe He has brought us together and are extremely thankful for it.

Here's my story...please help

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Submitted by emmalee05 on Tue, 09/15/2009 - 2:44pm

Hi everyone this is my post forum post and I'm very excited to get into this community for support and to learn from others that have been there before. I am in a loving and committed relationship to my BF. We just moved in together and are excited to spend the rest of our lives together. My BF has a son (5 years old) from a previous relationship. My SS is an adorable kid and we get along pretty well. Although there are times when I get stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated by things concerning his behaviour.

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