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Not about SS, about my BF...

emmalee05's picture

Submitted by emmalee05 on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 8:51am

I don't know if this blog entry even has anything to do with my SS5, but I need to vent so I'm writing it here anyway! Sometimes I get really tired and frustrated of the differences between my BF and I. We grew up in two completely different family environments, parenting styles, and cultures! Logically, there would be no way we have found each other and love each other this much. But we do and it's by the grace of God. We really believe He has brought us together and are extremely thankful for it. He is everything I didn't know I wanted in a man and he says the same thing to me all the time. It's just sometimes our differences really come up in the way we deal with things. I know everyone has their quirks and I'm not perfect in any way. The thing is I'm ok with him being as he is when its just in front of me. Because I like to be lazy sometimes too. But he is the same (lazy, unclean, messy, losing, breaking things, etc) when SS is around. Now because he isn't mine biologically I have the tendency to not care as much about how my BF is around him becuase it's his son. But I get to thinking...when we have our own children is he going to be like this too? The answer is YES. I'm scared of that because I always thought that you should be a better version of yourself in front of your kids, not pretend but they should make you want to try more, to make life special for them and be a good role model. My parents were like this for me. And honestly until I met my SS, I didn't think parenting would be this hard! Kudos to my parents! They were very good to us growing up and gave us every ooportunity and experience. Anyway, I would love to have kids with my BF and he wants to as well. Not right now because things are still unstable(BM and custody issues, starting off new careers) but in the future. Now, my BF had his son when he was 23 so maybe he was just still immature? I'm not sure. I'm thinking if we wait to have kids like another 3-4 years, I'm hoping he will mature enough to be a better role model for our kids? I don't know..anyone have suggestions?

Comments

AllSmiles's picture

Submitted by AllSmiles on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 10:57am

It may be that this is as good as it gets but you won't know til you ask him. You know him so you'll need to find a very tacful way to bring it up.

"So, are you always gonna be a lazy dufus?" Probably won't go over to well.

Find some specific things to talk about so you don't sound critical of him as a person. Hope this helps...

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton

RustyHalo's picture

Submitted by RustyHalo on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 11:46am

If your BF doesn't change and become a better role model for your SS, you will have your SS lazing around your house for .............forever maybe. And if you have more children, plan on the same for them too. Our BM who has a hard time getting up for work and is always rushing out the door with the skids EVERY morning, she's always forgetting things, and she does everything "half-assed". I see it in my skids everyday. With their homework, hygiene, and forgetfulness. They are growing up to be mini BMs. This scares me to death, because BM relies on EVERYONE around her to take care of her. My FH pays her $800.00 CS, and pays school fees, lunches, all medical (she's supposed to pay at LEAST half for all these things), BM's father pays her house payment, and her various BFs take care of other things, as well. I don't want my skids to think that is gonna happen when they get older.

******My daddy always said: "It's better to be a SMARTASS, than a DUMBASS!******