YSD diagnosis
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4850724/
This is fun. YSD14 has this. I don't think DH has read anything about it of course. He was trying to gelp her with her physical therapy exercise today and was getting frustrated. He also found out she's not washing her foot which is in a boot. Has been on crutches with boot for going on week three. The symptoms and internalized stress issues ate titally YSD. But you all know I can say Nothing.
Complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) is a chronic, intensified localized pain condition that can affect children and adolescents as well as adults, but is more common among adolescent girls.
Stress has an important role in inducing or perpetuating CRPS. Cruz et al. found that children with CRPS showed generally intact cognitive function. However, they demonstrated an elevated risk of somatic symptoms and emotional distress, especially anxiety [15]. These findings correlate with those of Logan et al., who found that children with CRPS reported greater functional disability and more somatic symptoms than children with other pain conditions [16].
Children with CRPS find school more stressful, commonly due to a tendency toward over achieving or to learning difficulties, and tended to have more school related problems [17, 18]. Absence from school is common.
Several studies have found a higher tendency towards a recent history of stressful life events among children with CRPS [5, 18, 19]. Furthermore, they sometimes have difficult family environments, where the child has an inappropriate role within the familial setting [18, 20]. Sherry and Weisman [18] evaluated 21 families with children diagnosed with CRPS. They identified two distinct types of families, the first with high levels of cohesion, expression and organization and with low to average levels of conflict, and the second with high overt conflict levels and low levels of family cohesion, expressiveness and organization. All 21 families had parental enmeshment with their child. They described several different stressors in the children’s lives, such as marital discord, significant school problems, and sexual abuse. However, testing did not identify any major psychopathology, with the exception of one child who scored high in somatization. They concluded that CRPS is frequently a stress related disease, which must be taken into account when treating these children.
Sounds like one of those
Sounds like one of those catch-all diagnoses they use when they aren't quite sure what it really is - and it's probably mostly related to environmental stressors and mental health issues.
Exactly. The stress comes out
Exactly. The stress comes out in a physical location. YSD is notorious for not asking for what she needs/wants (even something as simple as color of socks) let alone taking about her feelings. And dealing with the messed up BM home power structure.
Poor thing. Seriously--
Poor thing. Seriously--
No one likes to see a kid in
No one likes to see a kid in pain. I hope improvements are immanent.
I know you guys! I feel bad
I know you guys! I feel bad but can't do anything! Not sure DH has looked up diagnosis (likely not) and BM doesn't give out info.
She should be doing PT 2-3 times a day (to trick her mind back to normal) and be finding a counselor.
You must disengage
You will never win This. BM will play her. Game until she can not anymore . Why care about Sd foot, she not your child. If she walks or not. She has two parents you are not. One of them
Oh I have not engaged at all
Oh I have not engaged at all on this. Only here. I ignore the foot, crutches, complaining, and DH picks up alllllll the slack (seems she can make herself breakfast, lunch, and go on long 'walks' with DH but cannot seem to clean up her messes, put things in the dishwasher or set the table....amazing how her disability works isn't it)?
So YSD had some successful,
So YSD had some successful, intensive physical therapy while at BMs so she's graduated to no boot (just a therapeutic sandal) and one crutch. However she's studiously avoiding using her foot/leg, which should not be happening. Also no mental counseling, which is supposed to go hand-in-hand with the physical. I have been very very carefully kept my mouth shut. She's obviously doing much better and let's note, has one arm/hand totally free.
But amazing that she still cannot be expected to clean up after herself in the kitchen and cannot be asked to help set the table, although that should be part of the "therapy", i.e. starting to do 'normal' things again. So DH is still doing it ALL.
I noticed this part - "All 21
I noticed this part - "All 21 families had parental enmeshment with their child." Between enmeshment and possible parentification at BM's house, it's no wonder the child is having physical manifestation of her anxieties.
A perfect example of why
A perfect example of why parents must always remain parents and not their kid's buddy and for sure the kid should never be accepted as the parent's peer or partner.
Sad.
I know - I read that and
I know - I read that and actually said "Oh My G*D!" out loud. DH didn't ask me what I had read.
Well, YSD continues to
Well, YSD continues to improve. DH has been joining in on her remote physical therapy sessions, of which I do not want to really know about. But DH says the PT is good and that the PT is pushing her to do MORE because she CAN and needs to as well, since her leg is beginning to atrophy. DH takes her for a little walk around the neighborhood 2x per day. Nothing else. She's still relying on the crutch - I've seen her walk BTW - not needed!
She's still exempt from doing ANY help with putting her dirty dishes into the dishwasher, setting or clearing the dinner table. However she can do her own laundry and RE-ARRANGE HER ROOM all by herself, but setting the table, a monstrous idea.
So I don't set the table, DH does it and I only clear my place setting in the end. DH doesn't want to discuss then DH gets to do.
People like your SD are mind
People like your SD are mind boggling to me, as are people like your DH. I slipped in our new house in Sept 2018 and suffered a compound fracture of my Rt leg. When the Tibia broke it knocked the head of the Fibula out of the side of my ankle. I was home alone on a Saturday since it was fall Tax season for my DW so I had to deal with getting to my phone and calling 911 and my wife.
I had two surgeries that day, the first to align the fracture that I had set myself in order to get the bone back in my leg, and the reconstruction of the bones and joint with plates and screws.
I started PT the next day while in the Hospital and was on a Walker the next day. My parents come down from their home as soon as we called them from the ER and walked in just as they were taking me in for my first surgery. My mom was like the PT drill Sergeant for the next week. She and dad stayed with us until I went into the boot and my knee scooter showed up and I went back to work at the office. After my first follow up with the surgeon he stopped PT because my daily activity was far more than enough to facilitate full recovery. 4mos later I had a second surgery to remove a long screw that tied the two bones together so the tendon connecting the Fib to the Tib could heal. A week after that, I was out of the boot with zero degradation in functionality and only a slight reduction in muscle mass in my Rt calf due to not bearing weight on it and having my ankle frozen due to the long screw for all those months.
If I had even thought of laying on my ass not doing what was necessary my bride would have applied her foot to my butt. Not to mention both of my parents who would have had me doing forced marches on one leg.
I am a nearly 40 year T-1 diabetic which has a number of similar symptoms to your SD's syndrome it it is not effectively managed over the long term. Not often, though I have had some pain attributed to peripheral neuropathy (think nails being driven through your feet), affiliated skin conditions on my shins, etc..... I never let those stop me from doing what I had to do to reverse those conditions. I was DX'd at just the age your SD is. My parents were all in on my education and management of my disease which I consider the foundation of the success I have had in avoiding so many of the nightmare results of not managing this disease. My SS had a GF in high school was DX'd as a T-1 diabetic at less than 2yo. By the time she had the disease for 16 years she had no feeling in her feet, an amputated toe, and several other results of failing to manage her disease and her parents failure to require that she manage her disease as a child. All things I have avoided because my own parents would not allow me to avoid my disease.
I hope she realizes a full recovery. It would be a shame if her own lack of motivation and her fathers lack of balls resulted in her having a life long problem. No kid should have to suffer life long problems because of a lazy parent.
IMHO.
The last two nights I made
The last two nights I made sure that YSD cleared her own place setting after dinner and last night she also brought in some other things in addition. I told DH to knock off helping her that she was perfectly capable. DH agreed that she can start helping again, so there's a win. And amazingly I'm now in a better mood about mealtimes.