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what's the funniest thing BM has done while you and DH are dropping off the skids?

crushed step-mom's picture

I recall my stupid BM was mowing the front lawn in her bikini top (of course she luvs to show off her nasty old saggin body) anyway she saw us pull up from the side of her eye, stopped the mower and went over to the porch to pick up her water bottle and unscrewed the lid and after she took a sip, she turned the water bottle up and let the water pour down the front of her chest as she leaned backwards rubbing it all over. LMAO like she was trying to imitate the scene on flash dance. :jawdrop: Obvious attempt to draw attention from my DH...he laughed his ass off as did I.

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thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

Im sorry, Im at work but that response..."That is the woman you stuck your &^$# in". Is absolutely hillarious, when I go thru these bouts of insecurity I am definitely going to have to bite my tongue because I might just have to say that lol. Only if provoked lol.

chokinonlemons2u's picture

:jawdrop: wow.

BM used to show up in mini skirts and bend waaaaaay over into the car trunk every time she got the skids.

Once she threw herself down in the driveway and started crying.

She walked up to DH and poked his new wedding band

SMof2Girls's picture

BM used to dress like a common whore at pick ups/drop offs. Tiny short skirts that were 2 sizes too small, so they were less than flattering to her muffin top. Spaghetti strap tank tops with no bra; also a size too small.

On St. Patrick's day one year, she showed up in a spaghetti strap top with a plunging neckline that said "Kiss me I'm Irish". DH answered the door and she bent forward (to show her cleavage) and asked him, "Don't you like my shirt?" He said, "No. And you're not Irish" and closed the door in her face.

SMof2Girls's picture

When BM found out that DH and I were seriously together, she texted him a topless picture of herself saying "you'll never find tits better than these". Of course she was oddly positioned in the bathroom with a toilet in the background, clearly using her non-camera arm to hold her boobs up. :sick:

He replied with, "I already did" and turned off his phone.

crushed step-mom's picture

:sick: I hate our BM so much, luv hearing about stupid shit she says and does!!
as well as all your BM's too!! Blum 3 Blum 3 Blum 3

BSgoinon's picture

Every time we see BM it is a train wreck. Her wardrobe basically looks like the nearest thrift store threw up on her.

misSTEP's picture

BM would have a never ending list of excuses of why DH should come inside her house. She NEVER had the skids ready. He would not come in and each time it would piss her off. I don't know if she thought that stepping over the thresh hold would release magic powers that would force him to come back to her psychotic cheating ass or what?

But the funniest thing (wasn't funny at the time) was when the skids were already in the car and she came lumbering out of the house, as fast as she could waddle, and started screaming and cursing at us. All of us in the car (me, DH, my DS and skids) were like :jawdrop:

Poor skids (all of us really) were traumatized, they didn't speak for an hour after that. That scene, right there, was probably why the judge accepted our request to have pick ups/drop offs at a third-party neutral location. It just wasn't fair to subject the kids to that crap.

All because she didn't treat her baby daddy right and he didn't stay single to mourn his poor choice of a baby mama!

No matter how pissed I would EVER be at someone, I cannot IMAGINE making such a spectacle out of myself in front of my house where all the neighbors could see me!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

This wasn't during a pickup or dropoff, but shortly before DH and I got married, we were at a school thing for SS14. BM was there with her DH. She kept staring over at us, which was creepy. About halfway through the event, we noticed she was ALL OVER her DH. I mean, it was kinda hard not to notice. She was practically sitting in his lap, had her arm around him, and kept kissing him. In the audience in the school auditorium! He looked pretty uncomfortable with it.

On the way out, she walked with her arm around him and kept looking back at us.

All righty then!

Who knows what her deal was. It's not like she wants DH back or anything. Maybe she was jealous of our relationship? I don't know, but she was really embarrassing herself. And it's not like her DH is any prize! He's really short and scrawny, wears his pants around his knees like a teenage gangbanger, and looks like he hasn't owned a toothbrush in about 5 years. Or a comb. Ew.

Drac0's picture

I had an ex do this to me once. It was pretty obvious to me and to some friend of mine what she was doing. We're at a club and the ex was doing the "bump and grind" with her new BF.

"Methinks your ex is trying to make you jealous" my friend said.

"Oh boo hoo..." I replied while I took a sip of beer. "Whatever should I do? Hmmm...Oh I know! I'll have a beer to drown my sorrows!" as I took another sip of my lager.

tryingmom's picture

DH never notices those fun little tidbits of BM trying to flirt with him, right in front of me. I do and laugh every time. From the wearing too much make up, lord, look in the mirror as you slather that stuff on. To wanting to talk to him about the kids away from me, he always gives her this weird look and tells her to say what she has to say in front of me because he isn't going to go talk privately with her. To batting her eyes at DH with her BF standing directly behind her. DH would be a celibate hermit if she was THE last woman on this planet. He cannot stand her!

Tuff Noogies's picture

we were at a ballgame with skids, and all of us got to laughing about one mother there who was dressed like she was going to go clubbing, complete w/ short shorts, tall wedges, and an elastic tube top (of course sans bra)... i mean who in the hell wears that to a 8 y.o.'s game??? skids all found it trashy and hilarious.

the next game we were at, dumbass amazingly enough deigned to grace us with her presence. dressed in the same exact type of getup we'd all made fun of the week before... skids were embarrassed, but DH and i had a good laugh about it!!! }:)

Drac0's picture

My story doesn't really compare to what you guys have written here, but once while going to pick up SS, Donkeykong was outside tossing a football with SS and two other adults; a man and a woman (whom I later discovvered were Donkeykong's brother-in-law and brother-in-laws wife).

They didn't see me pull up, so I got to watch them throw the football a couple of times. The woman was throwing perfect spirals. She obviously knew how to handle a football. Donkeykong and the other dude? Holy crap! If I threw a football like that in highschool I would have been teazed mercilessly! Now SS couldn't throw the ball properly because he was never taught. I wonder what Donkeykong's excuse was? (Oh right, too much Nintendo.)

I later showed SS how to place his fingers on the pigskin.

"That's not how my Dad does it!" SS objects.

Uh...I hate to break this to you kiddo, but I wouldn't trust your Dad to hold his own balls let alone throw a football.

HadEnoughx5's picture

One time BM came out of the house wearing a matching Aeropastale pink and white capri sweat set, with polka dots. Her hair up in a ponytail, white sneakers and socks. She began jogging out to her car and back to the house with her ponytail swinging back and forth like she was a child.

DH looked at me and said "What was all that about?" I said "I don't know, you married it!" }:)