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A Shockingly Wonderful Week w/ SS11

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Fri, 06/23/2023 - 5:12pm

SS11 left today after a week with us. It was actually very pleasant and he wasn't an entitled, cocky asshole for any portion of the visit. I have no idea what happened or what was different. 

SS11 arrived last Saturday, ran through the door, and immediately ran to DD16months and started swinging her around and playing with her. He then ran up and gave me a huge hug. He was talkative and excited to be back, despite only being gone a week. 

What Do We Do?

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Thu, 06/08/2023 - 8:18pm

After we called SS11 out yesterday about his hypochondriac behavior and the Google search history about mosquito bites, SS improved significantly. He had an open and honest conversation about several different topics with DH and I and his behavior was polite and respectful. He was like a totally different kid. This morning, he woke up in a good mood, helped clean without being asked, and spent tons of time playing with and looking after DD. He was literally the perfect child... until BM and GF called tonight.

So Over Dealing with SS11 (VENT)

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 06/07/2023 - 12:01pm

SS11's behavior took a turn at the end of last week/beginning of this week. DH thinks SS got comfortable and now he is showing his true colors. He has been entitled, extremely cocky, challenging to authority, and views himself as an equal to adults. I was having a conversation with my Mom and SS felt inclined to interject and start poking fun at my Mom... No sir. DH has corrected him multiple times this week about butting out of other people's business, staying out of adult conversations, being respectful, etc.

SS11 Visit Update

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sat, 06/03/2023 - 6:30pm

SS11 arrived last Saturday for his two week stint of visitation. On the 4 hour drive down to BM's house, BM texts DH to let him know that she is at the emergency vet with SS' elderly pet who she wasn't sure was going to make it. BM said that SS was really upset about it. DH was concerned about this elderly pet derailing pick-up or devastating SS and ruining the visit, since we were leaving same day to travel to Florida. DH arrived to BM's house; she was home and the pet was fine. SS said that pet had an abscess and had to have a tooth pulled.

On The Topic of Narcissistic BMs...

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 05/15/2023 - 7:59pm

We talked to SS11 tonight. According to SS, BM left to visit her parents in our state last Wednesday and did not come home until this afternoon. BM told SS that he was not allowed to come with her and that he had to stay with GF. This means that SS spent 5 whole days (plus Mother's Day) with BM's GF. This is the second year in a row that BM has given up SS on Mother's Day. And of course, you know since BM drove right by our house to visit her parents, we would have gladly taken SS for that time -- BUT heaven forbid because it's Mother's Day and BM's time.

In My Head Tonight

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 05/01/2023 - 9:53pm

I'm feeling really in my head tonight. Some of you may recall that DD15mos had torticollis in her neck from birth and required PT and a molding helmet last year. She was delayed on all of her milestones like rolling and sitting up. She has been doing well and we thought we were over the hump. Well lately, DD has been delayed with pulling up, standing, and walking. I mentioned it at her one year well visit in February and they referred us to Early Ons, who assessed her and scored her at 8 months old for gross motor. Later, I started to notice other concerns like a dropped foot.

BM Continues to Show Her Selfishness

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sun, 04/23/2023 - 8:21pm

So, as I have mentioned previously, our BM will not parent. For the last 11 years, she has pawned off all parenting responsibilities on her parents, and then her GF after they started dating. BM refuses to parent but refused to let DH have SS either. SS has informed us of BM's lack of parenting, often without seeing her fault in it. We have found out that GF has done everything for the past 5ish years since BM moved in with her - done daily school pick up and drop off, done all medical appointments, done all sport transportation, etc.

Psychological Retraining

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Tue, 04/18/2023 - 5:51pm

Today, BM emailed DH, notifying him that SS asked to do a few single day basketball "camps" which are $15 a piece. BM told DH that she doesn't know how many SS will be able to do since he is also currently in the middle of soccer season. BM said that she was "just keeping DH updated," but I know that by including the dollar amount, BM is sniffing for reimbursement or half from DH. She doesn't keep DH updated unless there is something in it for her.

SS11 Went Home

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 04/10/2023 - 9:49am

BM and GF picked SS11 up yesterday afternoon. We had a really nice Easter morning with him. He helped us hide DD1's Easter eggs on Saturday night and then DH and I hid SS' eggs after he went to bed. Both kids loved their Easter baskets. We made a huge breakfast and then SS wanted to watch a movie. I got some really great pictures of the kids in their Easter outfits. DD had a cute little dress with bunnies on it and SS wore jeans and a nicer t-shirt. It wasn't my ideal outfit choice for SS11 but it was better than the grungy athletic wear he lives in. 

Update to SS11's Visit

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Fri, 04/07/2023 - 7:01pm

SS11 goes back to BM's house in two days after a week of visiting for spring break. On the day DH went to pick up SS, BM emailed DH to inform him that she put SS' foreign language homework (extracurricular) in his backpack to do over break, despite the fact that it isn't due for two weeks. She also informed DH that she included the "PRN Medication" that SS "needs" for his "chronic croup" in his backpack. If you recall, BM made a big stink about SS having chronic respiratory issues last year.

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