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A Cry For Help - Support Needed

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Tue, 02/18/2025 - 10:31am

Lately, I feel like I am at my breaking point. We have been in this high conflict arrangement with BM for almost 13 years now. While I have mostly disengaged from the day to day crap, I can't disengage from things that impact our household's plans, time, and finances. It seems like the more DH drops rope and just lets BM do whatever she wants (since the CO allows her to anyway), the more she increases shared expenses and conflict/communication to almost maintain DH's attention. BM constantly claims that she "doesn't like arguing" yet she keeps pushing constantly.

BM Enrolled SS12 In Therapy

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 02/17/2025 - 9:12pm

Today is DH's birthday... Tonight BM emails DH (after just seeing him yesterday and not mentioning it) that she enrolled SS12 in therapy because he has been having severe anxiety - BM did not specify what the specific issue is. BM provided DH with the therapist's name/contact information. She informed DH that this provider was "hand selected" by her and doesn't accept insurance so they are privately paying. Session rates would be $125 total per week.

At a Crossroads - VENT

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 01/22/2025 - 2:21am

This post is lengthy and probably not clear. My mind is spinning so please bear with me. 

SS12 visited this weekend. If you all remember, this visit was supposed to occur in February, but SS had a sport tournament, so BM unilaterally moved DH's parenting time to January to accommodate. DH and I didn't have any plans either weekend so we didn't fight it. 

Cell Phone Dilemma

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 12/30/2024 - 1:16pm

SS12 got a cell phone in September. BM bought it without consulting DH, set the phone up with all of her parental controls (that only BM and GF have access to), and they pay for the phone line. DH sent BM an email when SS told DH he got the phone, asking specifics. BM told DH exactly what the phone was capable of (Life360 for GPS tracking, Apple Family for app monitoring and tracking, passcode protection, etc).

Merry Christmas StepTalkers!

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 12/25/2024 - 11:32am

Merry Christmas, everyone!

DD (almost 3) opened all of her presents this morning and DH and I had a relaxing morning while she played. SS12 texted both DH and I first thing this morning saying "Merry Christmas!!!! Send me pics of DD opening her presents! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!!!" which made my SM heart happy. BM's parents are dropping SS off here tomorrow afternoon on their way back home from BMs. I hope we have a calm, pleasant, no BM drama week with SS. 

Wishing everyone happy holidays and well wishes as we enter 2025! 

We Received BM's Travel Letter

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Fri, 10/04/2024 - 7:32pm

BM's notarized and signed travel consent letter arrived in the mail today. DH and I held our breaths as we opened it... It is literally the exact same letter DH sent BM, aside from her rewording a few phrases like "consent" instead of "authorize" and spelling out SS's birthdate instead of xx/xx/xxxx format we put. She also shifted the signature spot from the right side of the paper to the left.

BM is pissed

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Thu, 09/26/2024 - 8:01pm

DH and I booked a cruise for SS12's spring break next year. Since we know how BM operates, we booked a cruise that fell smack dab in the middle of SS' spring break, with two days on either side as a buffer for travel. BM knew months ago that we were considering this. 

Because we are traveling internationally with SS and DH does not have legal custody and/or share the same last name as SS, the cruise line advised us to have a consent form from BM so there aren't any issues with international border control. It isn't a requirement, but more of a precaution for ease of travel.  

SS12 Got A Cell Phone

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sun, 09/08/2024 - 7:21pm

SS12 told us he was getting a cell phone at Christmas, but during our call tonight, he told us he got one on Labor Day after leaving our house. Surprised he didn't mention anything for almost a week despite us calling last week. He happily took down our phone numbers, adding them to his contacts, and sending a text to both DH and I. 

I asked what happened to the GPS tracking smartwatch. He said they turned it in when they bought the phone. Thank God, although I'm sure BM and GF will have a tracking app on the phone so it will likely make no difference. 

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