SS12 Spring Break - Further Annoying Things

DH picks SS12 up next Saturday for our cruise. We are busy prepping, packing, and finalizing hotel, rental car, etc. While I am excited for the trip, I am also nervous with everything going on with SS and BM's drama lately. BM has been radio silent since DH refused to pay for SS' therapy, which we discovered we will be responsible to pay if she runs it through out-of-network insurance deductible after further consulting with our attorney and the FOC (but DH didn't tell her that). She threw her hissy fit and is now "punishing" DH by being silent and not providing any updates about anything. SS has also been pretty quiet during DH's twice weekly calls, but he has also been under surveillance of BM and GF.

Anyway, in relation to the cruise, when we booked this trip last Fall and notified BM of the travel plans (as per the CO), she was firm about the 3 p.m. pick-up time per the CO, citing that it was set in the order and they had plans and could not offer flexibility. No problem - we planned EVERYTHING around that 3 p.m. pick-up time. Yesterday, less than 10-days before pick-up, BM emailed DH, asking if she could move the 3 p.m. pick-up time to noon instead, because her and GF are traveling during that week without SS and with their flight home, want to pick SS up earlier after spring break. DH and I agreed to it but we are frustrated.

Noon is and has always been ideal because if DH picked-up at 3 p.m. and drove home, they wouldn't arrive until 7 p.m. to eat dinner quick and rush to the airport hotel to sleep for an early morning flight. Noon would allow us extra time to get dinner, get to the airport hotel, relax, and get a good night's sleep. While this change benefits us, I just wish BM would stop playing these games of waiting until the last minute, because we all know she has likely known about her own trip for months.

DH told BM he agreed to noon but he will not make any additional changes to this pick-up time, should BM's travel plans change this week. I told DH going forward, if these pick-up changes work to our benefit, we will agree. If not, the answer needs to be "No." She has changed something about every visit since Thanksgiving (so 4 visits), and while these changes have been to our benefit, it has been chaotic, and I don't see BM slowing down in her requests. And unfortunately, given the HC person she is, she always makes these requests last minute or only looks to her own benefit.

Please send positive vibes that this cruise goes amazing and there is no bullshit from BM and GF. I want to be hopeful but also won't hold my breath.

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By making these changes she

By making these changes she gets to feel like she is large and in charge. it's a ploy of someone who has a deep thirst for control.

I know - it's just so damn

I know - it's just so damn annoying.

So piss her off

When he picks his son up, maybe a smile and a comment about how much picking him up early made his day SO much easier. She'll be gnashing her teeth for the rest of the day. Saying thank you might even give her an ulcer...

Any time surrendered cannot be made up, according to our CO.

If this was us, we would take SS at noon and give him back at the COd return time. Doing favors for the opposition rarely gains any favors in return so do not give BM any idea that her needing a favor gains her any benefit in redusing or changing DH's return of SS at the end of DH's COd time.

Only once did we offer the SpermClan replacement time. Our CO established long distance visitation of 6wks summer, 10days fall in SS's locale of residence, 1wk winter, 1 wk spring until SS reached school age. In SpermLand, school age was 6yo. In Texas where we lived, Kindergarten is full time. So the fall visitation. They never took the fall visitation. The only time they ranted about it was the year we notified them that school would be full time for SS from age 5yo instead of the 6yo stipulation in SpermLand. The CO was also clear that visitation could not interfere with school. To minimize drama we informed the SpermClan that we would give them an extra week over the summer to compensate for the loss of the Oct visit due to the full time school thing at 5yo. THat shut them up. They did not take the extra week the following summer. Of course we also never reminded them of it. So, when they notified us of the weeks they were taking their summer visitation that did not include an exta week, we just let things remain status quo per the CO. Hey, we offered. That they were too stupid to take the time we offered, is on them.

I hope you all have a great time on the cruise.