This is my first blog...ever. The hubby is gone for two weeks (work) and I only have the little one S3 this weekend. When all the kids are here at the same time, all I want is a break. But when they are gone, I just don't know what to do with myself. I always hear from ppl "go shopping, hang out with your friends, etc." The thing is, we aren't made out of money to actually go and do things and I really only have a couple of friends. They do work and have lives of their own. We do hang out when we can. I don't work, I am not in school..I am only waiting for the right time. When the budget is right to afford daycare. Anyhow, I've been a SM for almost 5 yrs and it sure is tough. Sometimes I just don't know what to do about certain situations. I always wonder.."Am I the only SM out there that just can't really get a connection with their stepkids?" I have a pretty close relationship with the little girl SD10 but just can't seem to connect with the boy (SS5). SS5 is the second youngest out of the five. I have tried having some one on one time with SS5 but it's just not there for the both of us. SS5 is almost 6 so I have had him since he was just barely over a yr in age. The only thing that I've gotten out of being a step parent, divored/remarried, dealing with the ex's, new in-laws.. is stress! Don't get me wrong, I do love all my children and my husband but only a step parent can feel what I'm going through.