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Weekend Visit with BM comes to an end...

supermom5's picture

So SD10 and SS5 get home from BM house (nana bringing them home) and SD10 is upset. Has cried all weekend. BM boyfriend is always making her feel bad. Today he actually was throwing pine cones at her and making her cry and BM told her to stop acting like a brat that he was only playing with her. BM calls my husband and asked him if their D has been acting up lately at home because she has been out of control at her house. He told her "of course not, she has her normal lil spats but is okay." Which she does just fine here, nothing out of the normal for a typical 10 yr old. BM told him about the pine cone thing and made it sound like it was no big deal that she was over reacting. He just let BM talk away and hung up. He called me right after and told me what had happened and he knows that BM was just calling to cover her butt before SD10 came home talking away. We have tried to give BM the benefit of the doubt when it came to "what's going on at her home" but not anymore. SD10 is always upset because of the way BM bf treats her and we disagree what he has done to my SS5. (putting him in a dress for punishment) Sometimes I would love just just go over there and slap that woman in the face for letting someone so ignorant be around her children!

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12yrstepmonster's picture

Throwing pine cones and humiliating kids isn't right.

And its hard to be respectful of a parent that allows that. Maybe there is a way to help the kids through this without taking sides?

supermom5's picture

*Dannib81:Yeah he is! HRNYC:We had counseling sessions about a year ago with all of us (BM,BD,BM bf, myself, and children) it was court ordered from the judge because we filed for joint custody with BD being domicilary parent. In the counseling sessions it was brought up that he was very mean and ugly towards the children but "kids can stretch the truth" so she really didn't take that into account considering kids sometimes do that NOR the fact he has cussed me out in my own driveway and threatened me (that I made a police report on but really doesn't matter because he dad and brother work on the police department). It was even brought up about his police record of abuse towards his ex wife (which was dropped) and he clearly admitted that his dad tried to tamper with the evidence (the paperwork on the abuse report) and got suspended for a while from the department. But insist that he never ever touched her that she just wanted to get him back in some way for leaving her. From what I've personally experienced myself and what the kids have told me I believe he is a complete ass! It took about a year for all the courts to end because the BM gave up and just told BD that he could have the kids. So we do have joint physical custody and BD being domicilary parent with BM having resonable visitation (everyother weekend and split holidays). We do plan on taking BM back to court in the future when the funds are right. NOT to have the kids taken away from her but to have BF not to be in the picture when the kids are around. This issue would had been in the court papers when it was final but BM and BF were split up at the time and the lawyers didn't find it a concern. Little does she know she will be taken to court soon for CS! I would love to see the look on her bf face when the papers are served! That was also going to be settled in the courts when everything was happening at once but she quit her job the day before court (advice of her attorney) so therefore our lawyer told us we wouldn't get anything that it would be much easier if it was a slap in the face for her and we went thru the state to do because they would actually penalize her (contempt) for quitting for that reason. So thats what we are doing..just what our lawyer told us to do. Don't let her know its coming and go thru the state. I know ppl on here only get little bits and pieces of everyones lives but I'm just so thankful no matter how little the information we give out, to some point most of us can relate to one another.