Lots of stuff going on in my life-haven't been able to blog. Here's another issue we have (may be long):

The ex (or BM) had about 15 horses at the time of the separation (1 belongs to SD17). She has been selling or getting rid of these horses over the last few years. At the time of the court case in 2007, she had $1800 in debt to the vet for the horses. The judge told her that the horses were her responsibility because it was a business that BF relinquished all rights to. This was clearly stated in the documentation BF got. The ex went bankrupt about 2 years ago and neglected to put the vet on her bankruptcy because she had at least 10 horses at the time and the vet knew it. The vet recently came after BF for the money because the ex moved and he couldn't contact her (and BF was still on the bills despite asking to be removed at least 3 times). BF offered the vet proof that he doesn't have any interest in the horses anymore but gave his ex a warning that he was giving this info to the vet.

The next time he had SD17 and SS12 for their weekend (late January), SD was in a bad mood and accused her dad of helping the vet take her horse (one of the 3 horses left belongs to SD). They had a huge fight and BF has not talked to his daughter for 2 months now. The ex (or BM) told her daughter that it was her dad's fault if her horse got taken away!!! Also, BF was upset with SD because she told BM some of the things he had told his daughter in confidence and it was being used against him. (BM has a way of twisting reality to suit her purposes).

SD does not like being left alone. SS12 has told BF that BM is never around anymore and his sister is mostly alone in her room. SS was scheduled to come visit BF in the middle of February for the first time since the blow-up with SD. SS told BF that the whole week before he was supposed to come up, his sister kept trying to get him to stay with her (BM was going to be working or at her baby daddy's all weekend). SS told his sister (SD) that he and his dad had plans and came anyway. About a week after that weekend, SD e-mails BF and tells him that the fight is stupid and she misses coming to visit and even if he didn't want to see her, her nana would (they stay at BF's mother's right now on their weekends). No apology or acknowledgement of what SHE did wrong in this!

BF spoke to his counsellor and wrote SD back, telling her that the door is always open but she needs to get help and talk to someone else. Last weekend, BF had SS for the first time in a month and just before that weekend, SD kept texting her nana (BF's mom) saying she doesn't know why her dad is mad at her-do you know nana? I'm not sure what BF's mom wrote back to SD, but I got to thinking.

It seems that SD was trying to find out what she did wrong so she could make a half baked apology to her dad so he would take her for the weekend and they could work on their relationship. Because SD does not like being alone, she is going through every possible person to get what she wants (weekends with dad and nana). I don't have the greatest relationship with SD (we don't know each other well and we don't see each other much), but I have mentioned to BF that I am a bit afraid that she is going to come to me next and I don't know what to say. The only other person she can talk to besides me is BF's brother (her uncle) but she can't call him because it's long distance and BM doesn't have long distance hooked up and he is rarely online for messenger or e-mails.

Either way, we know she is very confused and needs help but refuses to get it. We are predicting and hoping that BM will kick her out when she turns 18 (BM was kicked out or forced to pay her way at that age). Then SD will have to come to us and we've laid down the law that we are presenting her with 4-5 options for a counsellor and she can choose the one she likes best. If she wants to or has to live with us, she has to do at least 4 weeks counselling (or go until the counsellor says she's okay).

My question here is does anyone have any suggestions for what I should tell SD if she comes to me to try to get back in her dad's good graces?