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What is Happening?!

Frecklecat's picture

As you know if you've read my other blogs from the last little while, lots is happening with the skids and BM right now. To recap, about 2 months ago, BF approached BM about paying $150 to finalize the divorce and she said she didn't have the money. A few weeks ago, she went out and bought a new 42" TV. It came out last weekend when BF had SS12 for a visit that he got their old 36" TV (which still works fine) for his bedroom to hook up to his wii. A few days ago, BM buys him a new video game as an early Easter present.

Tonight BF went to take SS out to the movies and he came home a bit upset because SS seemed quiet. BF has been telling me that there is something happening with BM and the skids that they aren't telling him. Due to both of us being out of work, BF has been cutting back on his visits with the skids and we think it is pissing BM off and she is complaining to the skids and badmouthing him. BF is not talking to SD17 right now due to a fight (long story-see my previous blogs).

Anyway, tonight when they were out, SS tells his dad that his uncle (BM's brother) got a new cell phone and is giving his old one to SD. SD is going to give her current phone to SS and he wanted to know if BF would pay for a phone card for a pay as you go plan every other month. BF said that with money the way it is with us right now, he can't guarantee that he would be able to do that.

When BF told me this, I thought for a minute and said "hold on here". See, BF bought SD her first cell phone the first Christmas of the separation when she was half way through grade 8. SS has been asking for a cell phone for a couple of years now and BF has always told him your sister was in grade 8 when she got her phone and that's when you'll get yours. SS is currently finishing grade 6. That's why I paused. I asked BF "what happened to waiting until grade 8?". He told me that he didn't want to be the bad guy right now so he was trying to keep the peace. I let it go with him at that but I am still upset and now can't sleep.

I know that each kid should sometimes have slightly different rules and lots of kids have phones these days, but neither of these kids really goes out. When we first got the phone for SD, BM and BF were supposed to take turns paying for the time card ($15/month). The phone expired because no one was paying. BF bought her a new phone about a year ago and SD signed up for $20/month unlimited texting only. The phone has since been paid for by BM and SD but has been without service a few times because they haven't paid for a time card. SS let slip that SD has been without a phone for maybe 1-2 weeks (we aren't sure). The point to this midnight ramble is that I don't think either kid needs a cell phone at this point in time. I am also mad at BF for considering paying for SS to have a phone just to keep the peace when HE made a decision that grade 8 is a good time to get a cell phone.

It's ridiculous for either kid to have a cell phone when they are expecting mom or dad to pay for them each month and they contribute little or nothing to the cost! BM never has long distance on the land line so BF has to buy a long distance card to call his kids every night from my house (we live in different towns about 40 minutes apart). His cell phone is a number that's local for them so they can always call in an emergency. BF also taught SS how to make a collect call if there is a major emergency and they need to call my house. We kind of get the short end of things in that we pay all the time, but the arrangement seems to work for now. I just wish BF would get over the guilt parenting he's doing and stand up for himself!

Now that I've had my rant, hopefully I can sleep. Thanks for listening.