It has been awhile since I have been on this site and things have been good for the better part. SD21 now lives with her mom and half sister (different father) an hour and a half away and SS16 lives there most of the time. SS just finished grade 10 and came to stay with us for a week. We have been busy with work, etc as I had a car written off and we just finished getting the new one and my fiance is working hard at his job. The owners of the cottage he maintains are coming next week so he is doing the last minute work.

Which means my fiance has not spent much time with SS (his son) over the last few days. SS was here by himself most of the day as I had to take MIL to an appointment out of town. I am concerned about SS as he has not been talking to his dad (or anyone from what we can tell) about his feelings on anything. I have known SS since he was 8 and know that he can be emotional. We live in the country and have a dirt driveway. Today while picking up the recycle bin from the curb, I noticed that someone(I am pretty sure it was SS) had taken a stick and written "Death to All" in the driveway. I am not worried that SS will do anything bad, I am just worried that it is a cry for help.

My fiance and I were late coming home last night as he had a men's supper for church and I stayed in town with him. My fiance did finish work early and picked up SS to take him to the dinner which I thought was good as it gave them time together. When we came home though, my fiance was more interested in putting some fog lamps on our new car than spending time with his son after being at work all day. I was in the bedroom and could see SS outside wandering around like he was upset but I had no way of pulling my fiance aside and telling him to talk to his son. I have seen SS do this before when MIL wants my fiance's attention or my fiance has to do something on his computer. I even once told my fiance to get off his computer and spend some time with his son.

I don't have a close relationship with my stepkids but I can see my SS is hurting and we have known it for awhile. My fiance and I have discussed this issue many times but we keep coming back to the fact that we can't make him talk and we know he doesn't really want to. Does anyone have advice on how my fiance can get a meaningful conversation going with SS? Should I get involved? I try to stay out of it because of our lack of closeness and my lack of experience with kids (I have no kids of my own). Any tips would be greatly appreciated.