Ok, now what do do about INLAWS
So I'm feeling better being able to vent my frustration over my 17 yo SD here. I'm getting the strength to not put up with her bullshit and getting ideas on how to deal with this horrible situation.
A new issue that is arising is that she is now crying to her grandmother, aunts and Uncles about how unfair her father is being to her and how evil, mean and nasty I am to her.
I can't pretend to like all of my inlaws, but I do have a good relationship with them. Now we are getting calls from DHs family, especially his mom, that we need to get her more involved with he family, that her sister gets all of the attention because she is in sports and has all A's in her classes, etc. basically telling him how to be a parent. These same people see the kids MAYBE once every couple of years and have no clue that she has been caught trying to get her father put in jail with horrible lies, beat up a girl at school, brought alcohol to school, smoked pot (and worse synthetic pot) gave some of that synthetic pot to a friend who almost died (SD got scared and ran off leaving this other girl convulsing on the floor), going around having unprotected sex and just recently tried to beat me up. This is all within the last year. They have NO clue because her Dad is too embarrassed to tell them. So he just sits there getting lectures about his failures as a father. He is an amazing father, SD is just an evil bitch. I can't stand how they grow out their opinions when they have no clue, and now they think I'm some evil monster when they really don't know anything about the real me.
Thy dont care how we've supported her in orchestra (which she dropped out of), choir (which she dropped out of), sport (she didn't make any teams) and drama (where the hubby paid for her to go on a trip to New York). It isn't our fault if she isn't good at sports and they don't put her on a team, it isn't our fault if she quits everything she's gotten into, she doesn't even WANT to do stuff with us. She'd rather hang out with her loser thug friends.
Beyond frustrating!!
One problem is that his
One problem is that his family lives far away. We live in Texas, the rest of the family is either in Illinois or Florida. My mother in law usually comes down once a year or so, but the other family members only see the kids if we bring the kids to them. That means they can go 3-4 years without seeing certain family members. They have no clue how to deal with her and no clue as to what is really going on. They just keep undermining everything my husband does.
I do agree be needs to try and get everyone in the same page here and needs them o support him but I don't see that happening. Being a grandma or aunt/uncle is easy. They get to go over for a bit, have lots of fun with few rules and then they get shipped right back home. They don't get to see the REAL side of her.
I just know the next family get together (whenever the heck that might be) is going to be nothing but awkwardness because they will all be thinking how awful I am. They really need to be supporting my hubby and I or minding their own business. Just causing more trouble at he moment.