Stepdaughter INSANE
I've never been on this site or any other site like this before, so I hope I'm doing this right.
I have been with my husband for 10 years (married for 3). He has full custody of his 3 kids who are 19, 17, and 15. Their mom hasn't seen them in 10 years and we have no clue where she is (she tries to evade child support)
Up until now things have been stressful, but not more so than any usual family EXCEPT for my 17 yo stepdaughter. She is scary and I'm pretty sure she is insane. Even when she was younger she had issues diagnosed as ADD/ADHD. We had her on meds but as she got older it got better and the negative side effects of the meds outweighed the medications actual effect. Over the pas couple of years she has plotted to have her dad turned into cps for beating her (she made her own bruises and tried to get friends to go along with it).
Brought alchohol to school, go into fights, smoked pot and synthetic pot, lies constantly etc. today she threatened to leave but we told her we can't because she is not 18. I made the mistake of running out after her and she knocked me to the ground and was ready to try and beat the crap ou of me.
I now regret having anything to do with her discipline, but with my husbands schedule and no bio mom sometimes it had to fall on me. I am scared to death of her and hate seeing what this is doing to my husband. She flat out refuses therapy and refuses to take any sort of meds. I just don't know what to do. Divorce is NOT an option, but this is getting so out of hand. My husband is a great father, but there is only so much you can do when a child has mental issues.
I'm scared, lost and sick to my stomach.
Are you familiar with the
Are you familiar with the Baker Act? If not, please Google.
You don't have to leave your husband. You are trying to find good solutions. You can't let her keep doing this. Watch some episodes of Intervention as a start, after Googling.
Thanks Anne. I didn't know
Thanks Anne. I didn't know about the Baker Act, but a couple of years ago my husband did take her to the ER after we had found out she had been texting her friends horrible things about the both of us and was formulating that plot to have CPS come and take everyone away (her plan was to have some druggie friend of hers have her mom adopt her).
They sent her to have an overnight mental evaluation and it scared the crap out of her. They ended up just sending her home with no followups or anything. She was ok for quite a while after that, but over the past 6 months or so she's going back to her old ways. My husband is scared to death to have a repeat of the last time because I know she begged and pleaded with him crying her eyes out that she was sorry and to never let that happen again. It really was an awful experience and the hospital said it would involve an open CPS case for everyone if it happened again. He already gets so much stress at work. We really have tried everything though and honestly, if she wants to move out when she is 18 then so be it. We can't legally stop her. Of course he doesn't WANT her to leave, but that will be up to her. At this point however she is not a legal adult and we can't let her just run off. She really needs counseling but I just hate to have to take her to the hospital again.
This is beyond frustrating and sickening.
As for the stun gun, believe me I've considered things like that. When she gets "crazy" I wouldn't put anything past her. Unfortunately I don't like the idea of leaving it in my car and I couldn't bring it to work because I work in a hospital and they don't allow them. I really hope we can just deal with this until she is 18 but things are getting out of hand fast,
Thanks for your replies and reading my venting.
how soon until she turns 18?
how soon until she turns 18? I'd just let her leave.
Time to make SD-17 a ward of
Time to make SD-17 a ward of the state, hold her accountable for her actions and let the system deal with her. Next time she assaults you call the cops and have her hauled off never to return to your home. By making her a ward of the state you are being responsible and doing what you can to insure her care and support but you remove her from your home and protect yourself and the rest of society from her crazy crap.
Once she is a ward of the state she may or may not ever be "on her own". It will depend on her behavior and in all reality the outcome is all on her shoulders. One of my closest childhood and young adult friends is a ward of the state due to schizopphrenia. He has been a ward of the state since he was in his mid 20s. He lives with his parents who support him completely but the state is responsible for ensuring his treatment and when necessary is responsible for institutionalizing him and treating him.
Not an easy sitatuation.
But, hold her accountable for her behavior, make her a ward of the state ..... End of problem.
Good luck.
Given that she is soon going
Given that she is soon going to be 18, I don't know that I'd bother doing anything legal, especially if it is going to cost you. I would do as oldone suggested and just let her go. I left home at 17 and it didn't do me any harm, in fact a lot of good.
I feel so badly for you. We
I feel so badly for you. We went through this with ss19 when he lived with us for a year and a half. Just this past summer I had to kick him out when he threatened me but he was 18 and DH backed me up and helped ss19 get a place to live. Before he was 18 though he threatened me several times and head me in a throat hold against the wall one time and he's a 6'5" 350lb kid, he was absolutely HORRIFIC to live with, you can read some of my past posts. He was on drugs and alcohol and failing his senior year, lived in our rec room and it was such a pit I had to use a shovel to clean it when we moved (literally). Dh and I are sure he has some undiagnosed disabilities but not sure if was want to get into that now with him. He is now living on his own with his gf. Anyways I'd suggest some of the things earlier posters suggested. Just get her out of your home.
Sorry sterlingsilver. That is
Sorry sterlingsilver. That is even more scary! My sd is a twig so physically I can't see her really hurting me, but she hangs out with some little punks and I could see her getting them in on it, or even using a weapon of some sort (God forbid). She hasn't used or threatened to use a weapon, but I wouldn't put it past her.
I can't wait until she is 18! I'm counting down the days. Not until October though. I feel bad for her dad because I know this is killing him inside, but when she tried running away yesterday he told me that she pulls the same kind of crap her mom did. She is JUST like her mom by the way. Spoiled, feels she is entitled, lies about everything and does not follow the rules.
I feel that legally we need to make sure she stays here until she is 18. I don't want the law involved getting all up in our business as to why we aren't providing for her, etc. we also refuse to let her get away with not following any rules and not doing any chores just to keep her from throwing on of her fits. It is all beyond ridiculous and it is starting to really stress my 15 yo sd who is an honors student, varsity basketball player and orchestra member. Her future is so bright and I refuse to allow ll of this garbage destroy that.