You should not have to feel disrespected in your own home. If DH won't address it, that's your real issue. 

He will be 22 in about 4 months time and nothing has changed. Its gotten worse the exclusion tactics and pretending me and my kids with hubby (we have 2 together) do not exist and its worser when sd 25/sd15 are around the exclusion tactics are through the roof. 
 

so one day about 3yrs into our marriage i had enough locking myself and my kids in a room so they wouldn't be terrified of ss, they seriously see him as a stranger and do not acknowledge my skids as their half siblings. Me and hubby plan mini getaways which are skid free.

frankly when we are celebrating our birthday, anniversary or just a romantic thing, the last thing we want are skids ranting on the most unimportant unrelated bs about biomum and stepdad that none of us care or asked about ruining our holiday and sexy vibes. So since skids cannot be decent, they can be loners and play the poor pity me my dad abandoned me for his caucasian whore card. Yup thats what bio mum called me till it backfired because she had an affair to current hubby whilst married to my husband.

oh the joys and hypocrisy of a woman playing the respectable card when she is so far from it!!

Time to invoke anxiousness in SS-16 instead of tolerating him making you feel anxiety.

"Shut your mouth.  You are not an adult and in this home you will not be tolerated to disrupt anything in this home.  So, your bullshit ends now and you do not speak unless you are spoken to, you do as your are told exactly when and how you are told to do it.  Beginning immediately you will learn to live a life of abject misery or you will learn to be pleasant.  Your choice."

Then bring the misery.  And have fun doing it.

I had to practice. Seriously.

I had to make DH aware of my feelings, and tell him why I felt so left out whenever his kids were around. He denied everything, of course, until Major Meldown Day, and then he had no choice but to confront it. And he did. Now, when we're around his kids or really anybody, including my family, we check in with each other to make sure all is well.

My question to you is WHAT is your DH doing about his rude kid? If your DH won't do anything then you have a DH problem more than an SS problem.

Once again, this disrespectful kid is out of control.  We found vaping and weed paraphernalia in his room and of course it got taken away and there was a very loud conversation about it.  Find out today when he texts his father being a disrespectful brat that he is threatening first to hurt himself of we don't give it back.  Second, HCBM calls DH hysterical that he has threatened to hurt/kill we don't know which because she won't be specific DH and me.  SS14 knows I have an orange belt in TKD and MMA, and I will wipe the floor with him. That being said, I wouldn't want to resort to that.  He is bigger than me and I am very concerned he has now once againade specific threats.  We were supposed to have him this weekend but HCBM wants to keep him because she is worried he might do something.  I'm at a loss here.  I know the kid has issues.  Venting... not even sure what I'm going to do.  HCBM promised DH she would get him seen this week.