This is the first time I have posted...backround. DH and I have been married 3 years and lived together for about 6 months prior to that. He has two kids, and I have 2 kids. For a very long time, we got along with his kids BM until a fight about a year ago cause a major breakdown, now I am the evil spawn and this is passed along to the kids. Step-kids are very disrespectful to me while DH rarely says anything, a few weeks ago, one said that I am mean because I yell at him if he doesn't listen, and ask all the kids to do a few little things around the house. Really I don't ask the kids to do much because all the kids are with us only half the time and I feel guilty. At that point I basically for a few weeks stopped talking to his children other than hello, good-bye and answered questions that they asked. My DH was forced at that point to become the disciplinarian which he has realized really sucks as they don't listen much unless you yell. I had previously told my husband that this would happen...
Now, today DH and son working on a project, DH asked me for help which I started and was told "this is father-son". I said, "yes, you are right and stopped helping. Then later step-son asked me for help with the same project as they were unsure how to do something. I kindly said "I'm sorry, this is father-son project and you didn't want my help, isn't that what you told me a half hour ago". Yes I know it was not so nice, however I am tired of being treated like garbage and standing by and taking it. If my children were that disrespectful to my DH, they would immediately apologize and be punished, however it seems to be perfectly ok with me. This is causing severe problems with my husband and I, I really don't know what to do. I dread when his kids come over, have asked to have kids on opposite weekends which he has refused. I just need some advice as right now, I am feeling as though we are never going to survive. There is pleanty more, but this is the jist of what is going on. Thanks for your help.