Animosity towards Adult Step Sons
This is my first time writing.
My DH has 2 sons: 24 and 22. The youngest is still in University and comes home on holidays and breaks. The oldest still hasn't found a job that pays. BM is out of the picture entirely because she bailed on the whole family to start new. DH is the super-dad who pays for everything. Rent for both and an annual father-son vacation is the biggest money going out the door.
I just feel like the boys never really liked me (though I'm told differently) and I don't want to be around them! I see them as mooches who are spoiled and are taking advantage of their dad who pays for everything. They don't seem grateful and are rude to him at times which irks me even more.
I don't have any kids of my own and we won't have any together.
I find myself saying things to my DH that I regret later but I just hate to see him being treated like a door mat!
We just bought a new house together and I don't even want them to stay overnight. I know its wrong but I'm just too sensitive to their behaviour and wish they would just 'get a life'. Enough is enough!
Help?
Thanks for the reply
Thanks for the reply snickersgal. I appreciate the advice. DH and I have talked about it, but not in the terms of 'setting expectations'. I like that angle. Mostly he is just fed up and doesn't see any other way. He paid the oldest ones rent in the city for 1 year and is now bringing him back to live in the apartment which DH's dad is living in. Seriously? He had a year to make a go of it.
I think what's happened is when the family split up, DH tried his hardest to make it as good as possible for his boys and now they don't even know HOW to look after themselves. I stepped in the picture when they were ending high school and moved away for school.