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How is it to have a teen SD? Did they slowed down on visitation or still the same?

Crazyness's picture

Hi all,

I've always wondered once SD8 is a teen will she just slowly stop coming to visit us and just want to hang out with her friends? Her BM is alienating her from us already and she has hard time being here eow and one day during the week for a few hours so I can imagine she will most likely completely stop coming here when shes a teen? I have a step sister and we had her eow and once she turned a teen she stopped visiting us. I remember I used to see her very rare because she was just too busy hanging out with her friends..

purpledaisies's picture

I know that my ss15 still wants to come visit. He has said that he comes to get away from his mom lol. He is busy but he still seems to manage to make here EOW.

Travelguy's picture

We will soon live far (100-150 miles) from BD and SM. SD is 9, SS is 12 as of this coming summer. Can the kids request NOT to go? I mean, if they get involved in activities and such with school and friends, does the court require you to take them to the BD in a case where the arrangement is every other weekend?

Basically, does the law require them to go, and if not, what age can the children decide not to go?

12yrstepmonster's picture

Check your states parenting time line. But in my opinion a child needs to make time for their family. ODD biodad lives 1200 miles away- she just wasn't allowed to be in certain activities. As she got older her time decreased but she is always at her dads Even though she has a BF and friends- Family is held at a priority.

By the way her dad has lived that far since she was 3 - she envies kids who have their dads close and does not understand the issues that most divorced kids have.

alwaysanxious's picture

SD15 and SS12 both still come regularly. I'm hoping this summer will be less frequent, but I fear that will not be the case. You'd think that she would want to hang out with her friends that all live out by her mom. She has none here. So, she'll just lay around my house all day while here. Please o please let her get a job by her mom;s house.

BM's only saving grace is that she doesn't like when SO steps in to do parenting. I hope BM will now get threatened since SO is making SD get a job and maybe BM will make her get one at her house. Less time at my house this summer. }:)

12yrstepmonster's picture

SD19 was forced to come to our house until she was 18 and she was counting down the days.

She was also in my opinion alienated as well. DH was set to be the bad guy. We don't buy love. We have responsibilities and we teach expectations.

SS is 14 he obviously isn't liking our house either. We are also 25 miles away from his "life"

z3girl's picture

When my SD was a teen, it's not that she didn't want to see her father, but more that she was involved in so many activities that the visits sort of naturally subsided. DH didn't seem upset by it because he said it's normal, she's a teen and has her own life. If DH and BM were still together, he wouldn't be seeing her as much then either because of her age.

overit2's picture

I agree with Z3. I think it's natural for them to subside once they become teens-as intact families see their teens a lot less also Smile They become busy w/their own life. I do plan on still pushing my boys for visits, as it is now they are always fighting to go-especially the oldest. I don't know how I can physically force him after he gets bigger.

As to the SD-one can only wish Smile

Crazyness's picture

CS is not enough? I will not allow SD to treat us like an ATM when shes getting $750 for CS. I have a step sister thats older than me and she always wanted money from my dad and I remember mom used to get so frustrated. I wont let this happen.

Zoie's picture

My SD10 wants to come EOW and more but it's her BM that doesn't want her to spend time with us. I have often wondered if she will make an effort to come EOW when she gets older. Family is high on the priority list and we have taught her that. She is to call her grandparents on their Birthdays and we make a big deal about family by having gatherings, bbq's, family dinner at the table everynight when she is with us with a homecooked meal...

I really hope we dont loose that connection with her, but who knows what will happen. BM doesn't work, is lazy and does not teach her anything and is always badmouthing my DH to my SD. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.... Z

StillSearching's picture

My BFs daughter is 17 and still wants to come over constantly. Depends on the girl if she is still stuck on her dads balls or not.