modification questions
So we currently pay $350.00 per month cs which I know is not much, but I can't help but think about the fact that bb is currently making more money than my husband and she is living with her parents she filed bankruptcy so as far as I know the only bill she has is car and cell phone which truth be told cs pays for that, she has a coke problem as well..anyway last year after my husband and I got married we received modification papers bb thought my income would be added WRONG>..she must have done some research because they dropped the modification, so like I said in previous post my husband had to take a huge pay cut to start as an electrician but he will be up to full scale within a year, so I have been thinking that we should modify now, before the big bucks start rolling in that way she will have to wait 3 yrs to change it again...I know this probably sounds selfish but we help with lots of extra's and bb can't even splurge on a freaking ipod for sd (keep in mind in the past 5 months we have paid out $4,000.00 in cs we had to pay for arrears and then some) so I don't see any reason for bb to tell sd she can't have ipod as a matter of fact she told sd to ask us to buy one, her thought is sd is too young for an ipod okay that would be fine but she bought her a cell phone sd is 10 I think and ipod is less of a responsiblity than a cell phone...anyway enough bitching I guess I want some other opinion's on the situation what would you do???
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I have some questions.
If she is working and making money and you are paying all that money and only has two bills, all the rest has to be going up her nose. Isn't there anyway that you can prove she is on drugs and take your step son away from her? She does not sound like a good mother. And I don't think your wrong in wanting to modify it, you are trying to keep her from snorting more money up her nose. I would get it modified now before all the money starts rolling in, and I am a bio and step parent, so start the process.
My opinion is I would do it..
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
I agree with happy about the
I agree with happy about the drugs thing. As far as the modification, I'm not really sure what your question is, but your logic makes sense to me ... but you might want to run the numbers and make sure it's going to be enough of a different. $350 is nothing ... we pay almost $1000 per month, so ...
~ Katrina
you pay 1000 a month for 1
you pay 1000 a month for 1 kid???where do you live??? thats nuts...well I guess when we add all the stuff we supply when we have sd and all the extra's its alot more than $350 I know its not much...I don't know maybe Im trying to justify being a bitch...I probably just need to leave it alone, or it will bite me in the behind as for the drug issue I wish I could prove it but HOW>..???
Actually what sucks is my DH
Actually what sucks is my DH is in the military, he gets an allotment for his housing and food, which is almost equal to 1/2 of his salary. Anyway, what sucks is that they count the BAS & BAH as income because it goes toward household expenses. Even if we lived on post it goes into his salary and comes out. Even worse, it's non taxable, so on paper BM makes more money than DH, but because of the BAS and BAH she doesn't. Child support itself is about $550 and our share of daycare, right now is about $400. But that will go up to over $600 when she puts him in Montessori.
We are in Washington State.
If you go to court and bring up the drug issue you can ask the court to order BM to take a hair folicle test within 48 hours, or a week. There is pretty much nothing she can do to flub the hair folicle test.
~ Katrina
In My State
Even though CS is only reviewed every 3 years if there are any major changes in income the CS can be reviewed again anyway. In other words you can go to court now and try to get the CS lowered however when his income starts going up again and bills start going up for the child then BM can get a modification.
My DH only gets a little over $100.00 per child and he has 3 kids! He is going back for a modification himself. It is costing us way more than that in Attorney's fees just to get the raise. With the BM we deal with we have to have a Lawyer. In my opinion I would leave the whole thing alone. $350.00 is not much money to raise a child. That is for a normal parent that has her own home and pays her own bills and has daycare expenses. Doesn't sound like that is the situation in your case. So far going back to get a modification has cost us about $4,000 in legal fee because BM plays the system. Trust me leave it alone. It is not worth it and may not go the way you want it to.
If you decide to try and
If you decide to try and modify, just keep in mind that if DH was making more at some point, they could use the higher income to calculate as he has demonstrated the capacity to make that much money. He will have to prove that the salary cut is out of his control. If he chose to change careers just because he wanted to become an electrician, then it's highly unlikely that the courts will decrease the CS.
If the CS has been calculated based on the true numbers and not because BM was hiding income, then I have to disagree with what you want to do. If DH is going to start making "the big bucks" then why can't he pay the full amount of CS? $350 doesn't seem all that high for someone making a nice salary. You don't want to open a can of worms...it could backfire on you if it's discovered that the salary increases next year and she goes back again.
I get that BB is living with her parents, but perhaps she doesn't want to always live with her parents. It might be a good thing for SD to live with her mom in their own place....Also, if BB is making more than DH and has no bills, why do you assume that your CS is going to her habit? Can't her own money go to that? As far as the iPod goes, if you want her to have one, then it should come from you, not BB. If BB wants her to have one, then yes, she should pay for it.
Maybe it's the BM in me, but I have an ethical issue with parents that try and hide incomes or somehow scam the system. Maybe it's that EX's BB was always hiding money and lying about being disable (she admitted to it) to convince the court that she couldn't work, therefore costing us hundreds more per month. I know how tempting it is to retaliate. But at the end of the day, I think it's important to just be honest no matter how hard that may be, you know?
The coke habit thing is an entirely different issue. Do you have proof positive that this is going on?
Krissy
First thanks for all your
First thanks for all your advice...other people's opinions tend to open your mind a little more and it has...I guess my thing is that bb is living high on the hog and has for the last 3 yrs now, she can buy what she wants when she wants (for her self) but when it comes to stuff for sd she always tells sd to ask us no matter what it is, sd asked bb for an ipod she was told to ask us same goes for sd wanting a dog at bb house, a new cell phone, school clothes and supplies you name it we are supposed to pay for it...we pay cs plus supply any and all things sd wants at our house my biggest issue with all of this is that we still don't get sd on regular basis bb controls every visit and trust me she throws a wrench in the system every time...so I feel like if we have to buy everything for sd for both homes then wtf, I know what your going to say food, electric, etc. but bb doesn't pay bills at her parents home like I mentioned in a previous post the toilet was broken for well over a month at the house and bb was not about to offer to help pay for a plummer or a new toilet, she would rather her kids go to the neighbors to use the bathroom...that's just selfish bs...as for her coke habit I'm not sure what money pays for it but I know that her getting the cs just helps the habit a little more...as for bb still living at home to be honest that is the best place for her at least there she doesn't have strange people coming in and out of the house I dread bb getting her own place GOD only know's what sd will see then..she is 10yrs old now and at the age of 6 was telling me that she found a vibrator in her moms draw and her mom told her what it was for, she also made comments that she wanted to be just like her mom when she gets older a gold digger and wants to have a different boyfriend every week, and there a far more stories I could tell but we don't have all day...but you all are right I should just leave the cs alone...I know $350.00 is not much I am a biomom also and up until last week have never received a cs payment from my sons father, and my son is almost 5yrs old, so I certainly know that $350.00 a month doesn't put a dent in the raising of a child but I also don't have my parents paying my way through life...
Try finding the forms online
In some states you can find the child support calculation forms online and most of the time if you Google "Child Support Enforcement" for the state you live in it will bring them up. I live in NC and there are forms that you just plug in all of the income information and it gives you the child support that should be paid. I don't blame you for wanting a modification ESPECIALLY if she's putting it all up her nose HOWEVER with that being said proceed with caution as an Evil BM with a Coke habit will do whatever she needs to do to ensure that her paycheck ie CS is still coming in to support her habit. Good luck..........